99 Steps

Step 26: Keep Moving

"Mark, why aren't you talking to me?" Jack slammed the front door behind him, and stood in the front entry. Mark hadn't said anything after admitting that he knew who Kloee was, and he had completely ignored Jack and just walked inside. Jack was really just in the mood to sleep, maybe listen to music, but he also wasn't about to let Mark get away with acting so childish.

"Mark." Jack followed him upstairs, them to his bedroom. Mark tried to shut the door, but Jack got in the way. "Grow the fuck up and tell me what's going on!" The Irishman was hungover - no doubt - but he was also fired up, so one half of him completely ignored the other half.

"I know her okay? What else do you wanna hear?" Mark snapped, spinning around with clenched fists, which Jack took note of.

"I want to know why you're acting like a damn child! All I want to know is why she said that about you. It's not that hard of a thing to explain really!" He felt like he was spewing out nonsense, by the way Mark met his gaze.

"I'm the one acting like a child? Maybe you forgot that you snuck out and got hammered last night! Maybe you're also forgetting that you had no idea where you were when you woke up this morning!"

"At least I wasn't fucking ignoring you when you tried talking to me!"

"Oh no, you hung up on me too."

"Because you wouldn't fucking listen to me!" Jack could feel his eyes pooling with water, but refused to let the tears fall.

"Look at that. Why don't you go cry in your room like the little bitch you are! Fucking slit your skin some more while you're at it!" Everything just froze. Jack flinched out of pure shock; it felt like someone had punched him in the gut and stabbed him in the chest. Mark's eyes flashed with realization at what he just said, but they didn't turn apologetic like Jack was hoping. No, they slipped right back to the mean, hard stare.

"May..." Jack had to take a moment to be able to speak properly. "Maybe I'll just leave if this is how you treat people you love." Mark just turned away.

'Some fucking boyfriend he was.' Jack thought as he let his head drop as he walked out of the room. Warm paths ran down his face and he tried to not stumble down the stairs.

Everything hit Mark like a truck; fast, hard, and all at once. His own behavior made him want to throw up and cry at the same time. The red haired man turned to face Jack, only to find he wasn't there. It took him a moment to process what Jack said, but once it did, he took the stairs down two at a time.

"Jack?" Mark's voice sounded broken, but Jack - who was sitting against his bedroom door - rolled his eyes.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I promise," Jack could hear him take a few deep breaths.

"If you didn't mean it then it never should've left your mouth."

"I was just upset, I swear! I would never want you to cut, or leave, or do anything. Jack I love you so much."

"Why were you so upset though? I just don't understand, if I ask you a fucking question," Jack held back a sob before continuing. "Then you should just answer me!"

"I do know Kloee. She was friends with Blair, who was my past client. The two were close; they did everything together."

"Okay."

"Blair was, she was worse than you when she showed up. And she didn't stop partying when she was here either. She and Kloee threw parties like there was no tomorrow, and every few weeks they would host one at our place." Mark paused, all the memories drifting back into his head.

"One night, there was a whole bunch of people and they all got drunk, and probably high. And leading up to this point, Blair was all over me, messing with me any chance she got. She wouldn't even sleep in her own bed half the time. But that night, she was out of her mind, and... and I was drunk" His voice sounded so defeated at the last sentence.

"You were drunk?" Jack actually thought those words would ever come out of Mark's mouth.

"Yeah. Everyone was still here, it was late though, and she dragged me up stairs. She locked the bedroom door, and, well." He was hoping Jack would get the memo so he didn't have to say it himself.

"She raped you?"

"No! No, well sorta. I kept telling her to stop but after a while I just sorta gave in. I guess it isn't fair to call it rape."

"Well if you said no then it was rape. That's all there is to it."

"But I stopped saying no and went with it, that's the thing. Anyways, that's besides the point. We both passed out; well I did. I guess she got up and ran downstairs crying and throwing a fit, and she told everyone I raped her, and I abused her every night and a whole bunch of messed up shit." Jack didn't reply, not knowing what to say.

"After that she just left. I have no idea where she went, but Kloee kept coming after me accusing me of killing her. Though nobody called the cops. It makes me think that nobody believed her because nobody even went to the staff." Mark paused, thinking about the whole event again. "I mean I was just expecting her to feed you the wrong side of the story, and then I was just scared that you would think of me completely different and just hate me."

"Do you even remember what you said?" Jack snapped back, sure he felt bad for Mark, but that wasn't an excuse for what he told Jack.

"Yeah, I do. But I regret it, I hate that I got mad at you, I hate that I snapped right away, I hate that I just didn't think to simply talk to you." I hate that I always feel like I'm not good enough, though Mark didn't speak it out loud.

It turns out that the couple wasn't birds flying, but two birds fighting against eachother, insisting that they could both fly just fine on their own. Deep down inside, however, they both knew that they needed eachother to keep going, and if two living beings feel that way about eachother, they always found a way to make things better.