99 Steps

Step 42: Smile

Jack didn't want to do much at all other than stay home and hold his boyfriend close. Apparently, Mark had the same idea. After they finished eating, they cuddled on the couch and sat there quietly, listening to music. Mark finally broke the silence, clearing his throat.

"I, I honestly thought I'd never see you again." Jack shifted, feeling foolish for ever leaving in the first place.

"Yeah, I never planned on coming back. I mean, I just broke down a day before I ended up coming back and I actually thought about what I did and how wrong it was." 

"How did your mom take to seeing you again?" Jack froze, realizing that Mark didn't know about Hopper, and the two never went to his mom's, and that she never knew he was back in Ireland.

"Uh, I didn't go see her. I met a girl on the plane out of here," He felt Mark's arms tighten around him. "Her name was Hopper and she was moving to Ireland just for a change. We talked the whole time and a little before we landed she asked if I had anywhere to go and asked if I wanted to be her roommate." He smiled, "She was a lot like Zoey, in the sense that she just wanted what she thought was best for me. There was once I accidentally called her Zoey, she didn't ask about it though."

"I, god Jack, I thought I was over you, I thought I was okay with never holding you again, I thought I was past hearing your ridiculous stories like that one. I'm really glad you came back, because now I know I wasn't." Jack frowned, hearing those words made him realize the same thing about himself, and how much he had been lying to himself. "Delsin came over the same morning you left, and he took me to breakfast, and talked me through it. He made me think those things, he made me lie to myself, and to him, that I didn't need you anymore." 

Jack closed his eyes, not wanting to think about Delsin and the odd feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when they met. "You said anymore?" He asked out loud.

"Yeah. You came to me to help you get your life back on track, and when you were here I never thought of how much we were keeping each other held together. Well, how much you were keeping me together, and how much effort I was putting in to helping you."

"How did that whole thing end up?" He didn't want to talk about it, but he felt he had to ask.

"He stayed with me a few days, but he moved back home after that. I haven't heard from him since."

"Oh," Jack sat back, smiling at Mark when he looked concerned because he pulled out of his arms. The Irish man took a deep breath, thinking about a conversation he had with Hopper about Mark's recurring behavior. "Since I'm back, living here - with you," He started slowly. "We need to talk about us, and you." Jack shifted, feeling awkward about telling Mark something, and with how closely he was paying attention. "You have, an issue, with anger." He paused, seeing the way Mark seemed to flinch away from Jack's words and how he seemed to squint his eyes slightly. "I think you have anger management issues, and if I'm going to be here, I'm going to tell you need to take classes to deal with it better." He let it out in one breath, gripping a pillow to his chest as he sat back against the armrest of the couch.

Mark closed his eyes for a second, opening them and nodding to Jack. "Okay."

Jack held up his index finger before he could say anything else. "And I think we should go to couples therapy." He realized that he was laying down the conditions for him being back with Mark. Thinking back, he remembered that Mark didn't want him taking anti-depressants; he wouldn't let him. "Living with Hopper, I finally got back on a semi-regular sleeping schedule, and I've been eating normally. I haven't taken anything in a long time. The only thing that's still with me from before is my addiction to nicotine and my depression." Mark smiled, he had noticed that Jack was a lot more filled out weight wise, but he didn't want to being to up and scare him into starving himself again. "I've been managing it relatively well, but I want to get anti-depressants."

He could see in Mark's eyes that he wanted to deny it, but he nodded his head. "We can do that. We can definitely do that."

just a short little chapter to show that jack aint gonna take no shit from marks issues this time :^) also just clearing up how mark dealt with jack moving away and how much delsin ""helped"" him deal with his feelings, also where he went and why hes (probably) not going to be in the story anymore lol