19. Out of Sight

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"Maya. Wake up." I bolted awake. Lucas was above me, already dressed in his "cold clothes".

"Where are we going today?" I ask sleepily.

"It's the last day. We're going on a double decker bus tour." He explained, helping me out of bed. I rubbed my eyes.

"Why didn't you wake me?" My voice sounds lethargic and monotone. I walk slowly to the bathroom.

"I figured you needed extra rest after...." He trailed off. I knew what he was talking about. Noah. Noah died last night. I hid the tear that rolled down my right cheek.

"I'll be ready in a few." I stated, starting to do my mascara.

Turns out "a few" is about sixteen minutes.

We jogged into the lobby, obviously late, and edged into the crowd, stopping next to Riley and Farkle.

Matthews was beaming in front of the crowd.

"Personally, double-decker busses are more preferable because–"

"That's enough, Cory." One of the other Chaperones, Mrs. Matthews, announced rolling her eyes fondly.

"Onward!" Mr. Matthews announced, and the crowd followed him to the bus. Parked out front was the brightest red double-decker I'd ever seen. I climbed onto the second story behind Lucas. We sat in the back to hide from the big bad world ahead of us.

I gasped. It was truly beautiful in the morning.

"You're truly beautiful in the morning." Lucas said, obviously I had said that out loud.

"I need to stop speaking my thoughts out loud." I chuckle.

"I like it." He responds. I pat my bed head and try to cover it but he removes my hand. "Don't. You look perfect." The bus lurches forward.

After a couple of minutes the loudspeakers crackled to life.

"On our right we have Rockefeller Center, a complex of 19 commercial buildings that cover 22 acres of the city." The lady at the front said. She started rattling off facts like crazy, and only Farkle seemed interested. Farkle and Back-of-the-class-Brenda that is.

"This city is beautiful." I breathed. I looked to my right.

"There's Madison Square Garden!" Lucas said.

"There's the Met!" Riley exclaimed.

"There's the Guggenheim!" Farkle yelled.

"There's the alley where Noah was killed." I said quietly. They all looked at me. I was really being a downer. "Sorry." I said. "Um, there's the Brooklyn Bridge." I said half-heartedly. It's amazing how one minute I can be in awe of the city's beauty, and the next I'm sulking over another death. Pathetic, I know.

"Maya, I know you're sad. But Noah's gone. You used to care for him and you wanted the best for him, I know, but don't make your last few days here miserable because of that. Just enjoy the time you have here with us. With me." Lucas told me, rubbing my arm. I looked over at him, teary eyed. He kissed me sweetly on the cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"Yeah, Maya, we're all here for you. Remember?" Farkle told me, rubbing my back.

"Best friends, Peaches. Through thick and through thin. There's nothing you can ever do to make us love you any less. We're with each other until the end. We've had ups and downs but we're here now." Riley told me, wiping away the tears that spilled from my eyes.

"I really don't know what I would do without you guys. Thank you for being here for me. I'm sorry about all of the things I do to annoy you or drag you down with me. It's just that everywhere I step someone's dying or going missing or showing up where they're not supposed to and I just can't take it. If one of you were to get injured or dead I have no idea what I would do. You guys are closer to me than my family, you guys are my only family. I just don't know what I'd do without you." I stopped talking for a second to glance back at the alley, which was getting smaller and smaller in the distance. Another tear trickled down my cheek.

Stop that. I told myself. Be strong. You can fight this. You will fight this.

"Maya, you don't always have to be strong and tough." Lucas said, reading my mind. "You can be a little human sometimes. Don't be afraid to show your weaknesses because it's okay to have them. Having soft spots make us who we are. We're all a little broken inside. We're a little shattered and cut, some of us more than others.." He stopped for a minute, taking in a breath, then he held my hand. "You can show the shattered parts sometimes. You can be broken down in front of people. You don't have to hide it. You don't have to be ashamed of it. Own it. Everyone's broken, Maya. You're not alone. You're never alone. Heck, I'm broken. I can't live up to everyone's expectations of me. I'm the perfect guy everyone thinks I am. But I don't try to hide it. Keeping it inside, Maya," He looked at the ground, "That doesn't help anyone. Especially yourself." He looked into my eyes and I saw a flash of regret. His eyes got misty. I hugged him close to me, realizing that people were all I needed in life.

"Maya, don't ever think that you have to go through something alone. Don't think that you have to tough it out. Break down your walls sometimes. Show a little bit of Maya Penelope Hart's vulnerable side. People aren't gonna hate you for it. It might just make them love you more. Because let me tell you right now, Maya. You can't do anything, anything at all, to make me love you less. I will always love you. Every minute I spend with you makes me love you more. Learning all of the little details about you, the things the make you special. Like the fact that you bite your lip when your nervous. Or the fact that you only eat tomatoes on plain hamburgers, never cheeseburgers. The little things make me love you more. Make us love you more." He finished. I stared at him in awe.

"That was beautiful." I breathed. I looked back finally, trying to find the alley. But I couldn't see it. It was gone. It was out of sight. And a part of me thanked whatever God there is that I couldn't see it anymore.

__________

okay guys, drumroll please...

chapter 20 is the last chapter!

i'm sorry to those of you who wanted this book to keep going but i'll probably write another one eventually.

thank you for being here with me on this adventure.

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kylie

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