To My Love | Bucky Barnes

three ; i don't understnad

Chapter Three ; I Don't Understand

February 2, 1935

Dear James,

I don't understand what you meant. When you said 'because you deserve better,' you confused me. What do I deserve? Your help? What did I do to deserve it? I've been trying to wrap my head around this for days. You know nothing about me, so how would you know if I deserve it or not?

Sandys' been easing up, though. I don't know if you said something, but I don't see her all of sudden coming to her senses.

I'm getting tired of saying thank you to you. Not that I don't appreciate it! I do, but I fear I'm starting to depend on you more than I should. I know nothing of you other than you like helping people.

But that's evidence to support my hypothesis. You, James, are a good man. If only some others in the schoolhouse were as considerate and caring as you.

There's something else I don't understand. And since you'll never see these, I'm not afraid to say it-- I think I like you.

Not for helping me or always seeming to be there, but something else. Or maybe it's just my idea of who you really are. Actually, that one seems more likely. But I would like to know you, James Barnes. Maybe I would know if I did like you that way or not. Too bad my shyness will forever stop me from that.

I guess it's up to you, 'Bucky'.

There, I tried it. I didn't like it. I like James better.

From deep within the mind of a young dame,

Cara