Excerpt From A Book I'll Never Write

What Your Kiss Means

Here he was, looking at her from across the room. They hadn't talked in weeks. It's been so long, she couldn't even remember what they were arguing about. Everyone said that they argued a lot, but not like this. Never like this.

She was trying to understand why he was looking at her, he had been avoiding her in the halls, and everything. Maybe something was wrong, maybe his sister was in the hospital again. Maybe he needed her.

No. She thought. He doesn't need me. If he needed me, he would have talked to me.

The bell rang to signify the end of class, as usual, he all but sprinted out of the room. She gathered her books, and walked out the doors. The last one out as usual.

She looked up to see his face, his body leaning against the wall beside the classroom. He was never waiting, he was always moving.

He stood up and approached her. He smiled and kissed her cheek the way he always did when they said hello all that long ago.

kiss on the cheek means: we're friends.

She tried not to look as startled as she felt. She could barely hear him whisper her name because of the loud hallway. Nonetheless, her knees still buckled at the sound.

"Can I talk to you after school?" He asked. There was a lump in her throat, so she just nodded. "Great. Our usual spot."

She spent the rest of the day on her toes. She kept looking at the clock, her eyes barely moved off of it. When the last bell finally rang, she sprinted to the other side of the school.

He was already sitting under their willow tree across the road the place he used to always wait for her. She had to keep herself from running, always slowing down.

When he saw her, he stood up from the park bench. He grabbed her hand as soon as she was close enough, and sat back down.

He began explaining what happened, how deeply sorry he was, how much he missed her, how lonely he felt without her there. As soon as she said she was sorry too, he kissed her hand.

Kiss on the hand: I adore you.

They always had that type of friendship, emotions that were just teetering off of the platonic scale. Just barely noticeable, but there. Maybe it was the way they touched each other, nothing bad, always innocently. A small brush of the hand, wiping something off the others lips, touching their thighs together when their sitting beside each other. It was borderline platonic, but only they seemed to notice.

She put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She could stay in this moment forever. They didn't talk, they didn't need to. Everything that needed to be said, had already happened. She smiled at the thought, and kissed his shoulder. She didn't think anything of it, she just thought that she wanted him, she needed him.

Kiss on the shoulder: you're perfect.

But that's when he did something unexpected. He kissed her back. On the forehead. She looked up at him, he smiled. They shared a moment that only they understood. That only they talked about.

Kiss on the forehead: we're cute together

So she responded to their silent conversation by lightly kissing his neck, just below his jawline.

Kiss on the neck: I want you, now.

His smile grew wider, he leaned forward so that their lips were only inches apart.

"Kiss on the lips means I love you." He told her right before their lips became one.