Trigger warning: this story mentions things about suicide and cutting. I do not encourage such things however I would like to remind you that you are not alone in this world.
I knew how badly she was suffering. I knew how much she needed me. I knew the things she did to herself wasn't an act to get attention, and I knew that it was a big mistake to fall in love with a girl so broken like her.
But I did it anyway. The first time I saw her, I could see the scars across her wrists, some turning white, some bruising, some still cuts slowly healing. But I still walked up to her in that bright school hallway. I still asked her if she would see a movie with me on Saturday night, and I was still persistent even after she blatantly said no.
Once we started dating, I didn't try to fix her. That's not what she needed. She needed someone to be there for her, to say 'I love you'. She didn't need me to tell her that she needed to see a therapist or something, she knew that. I didn't try to change her, I didn't try to be her prince charming, I didn't try to save her from herself, only she could do that. I was just the shoulder she could lean on, the hand for her to hold when things got tough.
As we became further and further into our relationship, I realized I was madly in love with this woman. This sad, sad woman I wanted to be mine forever. And everyone told me that she had too much baggage, that she was just drama waiting to happen but I stayed with her strong.
The day she tried to kill herself was the day after I left for university. I was a twenty four hour train ride away, but I swear it felt longer. When I finally made it to her hospital bed, I didn't leave. She didn't try to go the way I thought she would. Her neck was swollen and bruised, she couldn't talk although I don't think she wanted to.
When she was better, she went to a mental hospital. I rarely got to see her but I didn't care because she was getting better.
After I graduated college and she had made a business for a suicidal awareness hotline, did we finally get to live together happily without any complications.
No, I didn't fix the girl I loved. I didn't rescue her from herself. I didn't do anything but help her find her footing. She was the one who pulled herself up. She was her own hero. I was just there for her to love.
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Excerpt From A Book I'll Never Write
RomanceI have always wanted to write a book but I seem to never follow through so I just create little excerpts that I have no idea what to do with. So I'm going to put them here. I can't usually come up with a plot for any of these excerpts so please fee...
