Resentment

Part 4

When I entered the room she was sitting on the edge of the bed looking out of the window. She didn’t acknowledge my presence as I sat down next to her.

“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you where I was today… I should have, I’m sorry.” She continued to stare out the window, “Whatever happens, I swear that I will never leave you again.” My voice shook a little but I continued, “I know that both of us have done terrible things, and that many many years have passed… but at the end of the day, you’re still my little sister.”

Finally she looked at me, “who are you calling little?” she looked sad but her mouth pulled up into a small smile and I knew I had been forgiven. “I’m… not the same as I was though, when you knew me before.”

“Neither of us are… but I think we still have a lot in common.”

“Yes… apart from…”

“Jamie?” I could easily guess what she was getting at.

“Yes, I don’t understand how you can be so… close to him, he’s human. Don’t you just want to… ah bite him?”

I sighed, “You have to understand… for a long time I was terrible. I hurt and killed more people than I can count. I regretted nothing and I took what I wanted regardless of the situation. The only thing I really cared about in this world was William. When he was gone…” I hesitated for a moment, “I got even worse. It took a long time for me to start to realise that… humans are worth knowing. They’re not that different from us, in fact they’re probably better. We used to be human before we got this… thing inside of us which makes us what we are now.”

She nodded, “It takes over everything. It ends up so everything you do is just aimed towards getting blood. It makes everything else not matter.”

I didn’t like the slightly crazy look she got in her eyes as she spoke, but her description was accurate. “Exactly,” I said, “and that’s no way to live. There has to be more meaning to life,”

“Do you love him?” she asked suddenly, taking me off guard a little.

“Yes, yes I do.” I admitted, “I didn’t expect to, it came as a bit of a surprise really. I mean, the past couple of years I have been trying to reach out to people more. I somehow made a couple of human friends, David and Anna.” Although David had somehow got the impression we were more than that I remembered with chagrin. “David isn’t human anymore though, there was an accident and he… he was dying…”

“I remember you mentioning him before. He is the one that is captured.”

“Yes”

“I’ve never turned anyone.” She confessed. “I tried a few times but it always ended badly.” I assume she meant that she ate them instead. “I don’t ever remember loving anyone either. I didn’t believe it was possible for a vampire.”

“It is possible.” I assured her. I put my hand over my heart, “I feel it.”

She stared at me silently for a moment, reading the sincerity of my expression. “I want to try and live like you.” She finally declared. “I don’t find it likely that I’ll ever fall in love… but I would like to try this idea of connecting with people. It may come in useful considering the current crisis anyhow. I could do with something to fight for.”

“There is one thing that you aren’t going to like.” I told her cautiously, “I don’t… well I hardly ever drink from humans.”

“So how do you survive?” she exclaimed, the surprise obvious in her tone.