Wasteland Deity

04 Want

I lick my lips, feeling the abuse in my busted lip, I wonder if you can taste the blood, when you kiss me. I can feel you crawling all over my skin, leaving bruises where your fingers touch. I hate to see you smile, hate to see you, I want to forget the way my heart leaps every time you're there. I never believed something I loved could hurt me, but then I heard your voice and the way you looked with her. The way she smiled with your hand on her waist, and the smile you threw my way, I used to believe you didn't want to hurt me.

But I'm addicted to the way that you lie, I light up when you say it's not real. But the bruises she leaves on your neck, reminds me that this is not real. Not at all. I'm so used to your abuse taking away the pain, kissing your knuckles after they're stained with my blood. And when I speak ill of you I wash my mouth out with soap, afraid you can taste the guilt on my tongue. I used to believe I deserved this.

Then I saw you with her. Your gentle touches against her skin, the way you keep her from getting hurt. I hate the way my skin burns remembering you there, the fear in my chest when you call. So I'm going to take control, burn your shirts in the sink. What did you think? That I would let you destroy me? Girls like me can make you beg. I'm pretty sure I can hurt you too. I always wondered what it would be like with your blood on my skin. I'll make you regret every hit and bruise. Every bad thing you ever whispered in my ear, comes pouring out with every hit to your head. Honey, I'm not just some doll for you to break.

I used to believe you didn't want to hurt me.