Wasteland Deity

11 Not Okay

MY HATE SWALLOWS ME WHOLE. I KNOW NO BORDERS TO THE RAGE I CAN FEEL. MY SADNESS BECOMES ME AND THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I HATE THAT SHE IS THE ONE TO CATCH YOUR EYE. THE THOUGHT OF YOU TOUCHING HER MAKES MY VEINS BOIL. YOU LOVE HER AND I AM BROKEN, AND THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I CANNOT SWITCH MY FEELINGS ON AND OFF LIKE A LIGHT. BUT I WISH I COULD. BECAUSE MY EMOTIONS ARE NOT MISTS OR RIPPLES, THEY ARE HURRICANES AND FLOODS THAT SHATTER ME TO THE CORE. I FEEL TOO MUCH AND THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I WISH I COULD SAY THAT I AM HAPPY FOR YOU BUT MY SKIN CRAWLS JUST TRYING TO FORM THE WORDS. I WISH I COULD JUST LET IT BE BUT MY MIND IS PLAGUED AND I CANNOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. I AM SELFISH AND SPITEFUL, AND THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I DESPERATELY WISH I HAD BEAUTY. I DESPERATELY WISH I COULD, FOR ONCE, BE THE ONE. BUT I AM MUD AND TREE BARK, I AM THE EARTH WHEN YOU LONG FOR THE SKY.

I AM ME, AND THAT IS NOT OKAY..