The Princess of Light

Chapter 5.17 (The pink toad and her cardboard)

After Arithmancy, Aurora and Hermione made their way over to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Professor Umbridge was humming and smiling to herself when they entered the room. This sight alone made Aurora want to run off, screaming, because a happy Umbridge was scary as hell.

Aurora sat down next to Elizabeth and took out her copy of Defensive Magical Theory.

"Wands away," Professor Umbridge instructed them all with a smile, after calling them all to order and silence fell. "As we finished Chapter One last lesson, I would like you all to turn to page nineteen today and commence 'Chapter Two, Common Defensive Theories and their Derivation'. There will be no need to talk."

Still smiling her wide, self-satisfied smile, she sat down at her desk. The class gave an audible sigh as it turned, as one, to page nineteen. Aurora wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year's lessons and was on the point of checking the contents page when she noticed that Hermione had her hand in the air again.

Professor Umbridge had noticed, too, and what was more, she seemed to have worked out a strategy for just such an eventuality. Instead of trying to pretend she had not noticed Hermione she got to her feet and walked around the front row of desks until they were face to face, then she bent down and whispered, so that the rest of the class could not hear, "What is it this time, Miss Granger?"

"I've already read Chapter Two." Said Hermione.

"Well then, proceed to Chapter Three."

"I've read that too. I've read the whole book."

Professor Umbridge blinked but recovered her poise almost instantly. "Well, then, you should be able to tell me what Slinkhard says about counter-jinxes in Chapter Fifteen."

"He says that counter-jinxes are improperly named." Said Hermione promptly. "He says 'counter-jinx' is just a name people give their jinxes when they want to make them sound more acceptable."

Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows and Aurora knew she was impressed, against her will.

"But I disagree." Hermione continued.

Professor Umbridge's eyebrows rose a little higher and her haze became distinctly colder. "You disagree?"

"Yes, I do." Said Hermione, who, unlike Umbridge, was not whispering, but speaking in a clear, carrying voice that had by now attracted the attention of the rest of the class. "Mr. Slinkhard doesn't like jinxes, does he? But I think they can be very useful when they're used defensively."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Said Professor Umbridge, forgetting to whisper and straightening up. "Well, I'm afraid it is Mr. Slinkhard's opinion, and not yours, that matters within this classroom, Miss Granger."

"But-" Hermione began.

"That's enough." Said Professor Umbridge. She walked back to the front of the class and stood before them, all the jauntiness she had shown at the beginning of the lesson gone. "Miss Granger, I am going to take five points from Gryffindor house."

There was outbreak of muttering at this.

"What for?" Said Harry angrily.

"Don't you get involved!" Hermione whispered urgently to him.

"I am here to teach you using a Ministry-approved method that does not include inviting students to give their opinions on matters about which they understand very little. Your previous teachers in this subject may have allowed you more licence, but as none of them - with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects - would have passed a Ministry inspection-"