Be My Valentine <3

Be My Valentine <3 - Part 2A

12th Feb 2013

8:30 pm

I was sitting in a corner, all alone with a glass of wine in hand. I had already drunk enough alcohol to last me the night, or at least enough to get me through this function that I was here to attend. My parents had approached me several times in the last 2 hours, trying to get me to speak with them. But I had told them, rather warned them that it would be better if they let me be by myself. They knew that it was really a big deal that I had decided to come here, and they didn’t want to risk me creating an unwanted scene, and so they stayed away from me. I did get a chance to speak to Sneha’s Mom, and she was kind enough to answer all the questions that I had wanted to ask, most of which were related to Sneha. Basically, I was just happy to know that Sneha had been doing well, and that she was quite happy and content with her life. In a way, I felt proud of myself, of the selfless person that I had become who was willing to give up the love of his life, for her to find peace and happiness (not that I was left with any other choice).

I looked at the watch, and was relieved, but not quite enough. Another half an hour before this function gets over and I can get back to my hotel room and wash off the memories of this night from my mind.

(3 years earlier)

10th May 2010

5:00 pm

“Thanks for meeting me here.” I said, excited to be seeing Sneha after so many days. The last time I had seen her was when she was vacating her hostel room after her final exams had gotten over, and that was almost two months ago. Ever since she started staying with her parents and started working for an IT MNC, our meetings had become fewer and far between. Also, my job kept me travelling all over, and that was another reason why we were not able to meet as often as we would have liked to. The only consolation was that we Skyped regularly. And obviously, the phone was also always at our disposal.

She sat down opposite to me.

“What happened Raj, you sounded tense over the phone.? Is everything alright.?” she said, carefully scanning me with her eyes to make sure that I wasn’t injured or something. I loved it when she used to be concerned for me, it made me feel even the more blessed to have her in my life.

“No, everything isn’t alright” - I wanted to scream to her. But I thought I’d take it slow.

“Do you want to order anything.?” I said as I passed her the menu card.

“No Raj, tell me what it is that’s bothering you.” she said as she kept the menu aside.

“I guess there’s no way to sugarcoat it. I have to tell her.” I thought to myself before I started “I just can’t understand them. My parents are impossible.”

The look of concern on her face gave way to confusion, and Sneha said “Huh.? What do you mean Raj.? What happened now.?”

“Sne, I told them. I told them about us.” I said.

Her eyes widened. She took a sip of water from the glass kept in front of her. She opened her mouth, probably to say something. But then she didn’t say anything.

“I told them everything, about how I feel about you, about how you feel, about the things we have planned for ourselves, about marriage. But. . . . .” I continued in frustration, and then I banged my fist on the table.

She kept her comforting hand on mine and said “But what Raj. . . . .? What did they say.?”

I looked into her eyes, and I wished I could inhabit them. I didn’t want to be a part of this world where my parents were being so unsupportive of my love.

I said “They just don’t seem to understand how serious I am about this, about us. They still treat me like a small kid, thinking that I am too young to make this life-changing decision for myself. They want me to concentrate on my work, on building my career and not on silly things like love. They said this is all just a passing phase. Can you believe that, calling our love a passing phase.? Hmmmph.”

“Oh.” she said dejectedly.

“Sne, don’t worry. The first step is always the biggest and hardest. Now that I have told them about us, I can take things forward. Don’t worry. Please don’t worry.” I said as I kept my hand on top of hers.

She slowly pulled away her hand from in between my hands.

“Sne. . . . . Baby, don’t get stressed. I just wanted to let you know about all this. This doesn’t change anything between us.” I said.

Slowly, she said “Raj, I think your parents are right. I think you should listen to them. Maybe we shouldn’t rush into things.”

“Sne. You too.?” I said.

She looked away.

I said “I know this is not you talking, it’s just that you are trying to respect my parents’ views. But I didn’t let their stupid talk get to me, and I am not going to let it affect our relationship either. Till today, I have been doing everything that they have asked me to. But this (love) is something a person needs to do intuitively, not under duress. I love you, and there’s no changing that. Now, I have finished my studies. I have a decent job. I am even willing to join my Dad’s business if that’s what he wants. But there is one thing that I can’t compromise on, and that’s you.”

She remained silent for a while. Then she said “Listen, we have lots of time to think about us and our future together. Right now, you should focus solely on your work. That will definitely make your parents happy. And. . . . . And then, maybe they might accept me. But. . . . . if still they don’t, then. . . . .”

I could see her eyes tearing up. I got up from my seat and pulled my chair next to her. As I sat down, I said “There are 3 things you need to know Sne. First, there is no way in hell that I am going to leave you. Not marrying you is not an option for me. Everything will go down as we had planned all those years ago. Second, my parents don’t have a problem with you. The problem is with me - They think I am immature, and naïve. But I will show them that I am a grown up man now who is practical, and quite capable of taking up responsibilities and making decisions. And third, you don’t get to be a martyr by letting me go ok. I am not going anywhere, and neither are you. My parents have the right to say whatever they want, but I too have the freedom to make my own choices.”

I cupped her face in my hands and said “You just have to be there by my side, and I can fight anyone and anything in this world. You are my strength. Never talk about leaving me, ok.?”

I wiped away her tears.

She hugged me tight, and it felt good. She slowly said into my ear “I love you Raj. And I can’t live without you.”

I said “I love you too Sne. And I am going to convince them. You see, I will make my parents love you as much as I do.”

I could feel her smile. She whispered “I trust you Raj.”

I said “That’s all I need. Everything is going to be fine.”