Be My Valentine <3

Be My Valentine <3 - Part 3A

12th Feb 2013

9:45 pm

Someone patted me on the shoulder and I woke up with a start. I looked up. It was my Dad.

“Did you fall asleep.?” he asked me.

I guess I did fall asleep. But I didn’t respond to him and I looked at my watch. Wow, I had dozed off for almost 40 minutes.

“The function is over. Everyone has left.” he said as I got off the recliner and stood up.

“Everyone.?” I asked.

“Yes. All the guests have left. Ansh has gone to drop off Sneha and her parents at their home. Come, let us go home.” he said.

For a moment there, I thought he had asked me to come home with him. But then I thought I had heard it wrong. I stood in silence.

“Your mother is waiting for us in the car. Come, let’s go home. You didn’t have dinner also, we’ll have something prepared for you at home.” he said.

He had indeed invited me to come home. I was surprised that he even thought about inviting me, knowing that it had been ages since I had been to that place I once called home. It was something I couldn’t do. And it was not just for the sake of my pride that I was unwilling to go with him, but because that place was no longer my home, like many things in my life, it wasn’t what it used to be.

“No, it’s ok. I have a hotel.” I said.

He started “Raj. . . . .”

“Dad, please. Please don’t start any unnecessary discussion. We both know how it will end.” I stopped him.

For a while, he didn’t know how to respond. Then he said “But how long will this go on son.?”

Without hesitation, I said “Probably forever.”

He was shocked by my bluntness, and just stared at me. I continued “This doesn’t mean I am disowning you all. If I did, I wouldn’t have come here in the first place. You people are still my family. It’s just that I am better off on my own. I have made a new life for myself, and I am content with it. And for a change, it would be nice to see you respecting me and my choices. But even if you don’t understand me, it doesn’t make a difference. Like it never has.”

Probably he understood that there was no point in arguing with me. And trying to change the topic, he said “We were all looking for you. Ansh. Sneha. We wanted you to be with us, to be a part of all this.”

“Well I am a part of all this, aren’t I.? I am here, what more do you want.? You couldn’t have expected me to come onto that stage and give some speech about how happy I am when in fact I am not, about how together our family is when in fact it isn’t.?” I said in frustration.

“Raj, I know life hasn’t been fair with you. But no one could have ever imagined that things would turn out this way.. We never thought . . . .” he said.

“All those years back, I was in need of your support and your blessings. But you guys abandoned me. All this might have turned out a bit differently if only you had stood by me, by my decision when I needed you guys the most. If only. . . . . But you didn’t.” I said with disappointment.

I continued “But I can’t hold you guys responsible for my misery. Maybe I also could have. . . . . should have done things a bit differently. In the end, only my miserable fate is to blame for the way my life has turned out. One night. . . . . One accident changed everything.” I said.