The Captain and the Dork (The Losers/Jake Jensen Fanfic)

1

"Look, I'm sorry. I just can't give you that kind of information. I'll do anything else, I just can't do that. I can't betray my country, I won't. This country...gave me everything."

I looked up from my spot, a rock right in the middle of the river where we were. I had managed to jump from the shore to the little rock. I was there just to cool off from the heat.

Captain Jake Jensen had two toys in his hands. One looked like Godzilla and the other looked like a dog. He had Godzilla butt rape the dog. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh God. Just keep me away from me. Don't let him near me. Oh no. Oh God!", he continued. He then deepened his voice to say, "Come on, baby, just relax into it and let Godzilla do thing."

He put the Godzilla toy behind the dog toy and proceeded to have the Godzilla toy butt rape the dog toy, making sex noises as he did so. I laughed as Sergeant Linwood Porteous, or "Pooch" spoke.

"Okay, come on, this is wrong on so many levels.", he said. "You in or not?"

"And get cheated again?", Jensen asked.

"What? No, the Pooch may lie, the Pooch may steal, the Pooch may-" "The Pooch may refer to himself in third person.", I said standing up to try and jump off of the rock.

"Occasionally.", Pooch agreed. "But the Pooch does not cheat.

"Well the Pooch can relax. I was worried about Cougar."

Everyone turned to look at Sergeant Carlos Alvarez, aka Cougar. He looked up at us and smirked. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Yeah right.", Pooch said. "It's always the quiet ones."

"It's blind man's bluff!", said Captain William Rouqe, who was down by the river with me. "High card wins. How the hell can the man cheat you?"

"Come on, Jensen", I begged.

Jensen put his little toys down to turn and look at me. He eyed me up and down. I was wearing my camp shorts with a tank top that hugged my torso and showed off my curves. I raised an eyebrow at him before jumping.

Unfortunately, it wasn't easy getting back on land as it was getting on the rock. My foot hit the edge and I almost lost my balance. Jensen was quick to wrap his arms around the small of my back and pull me back to shore.

"Thanks.", I said and pulled away from him.

"If I play, do I get to sit next to you?", he said. "Cause that wouldn't be fair. I'd be too distracted.

I smiled and playfully pushes him, making him laugh. "Save the flirting for later, you two.", Pooch said. "Jensen, you in?"

Jensen shrugged then looked at me. "Guess what? I'm in."

The five of us sat around the table. Roque grabbed the stack of cards and placed it in  the middle of the table. Each of us took one card each. The game was simple. Nobody was allowed to look at the card they had. They had to stick it on their forhead and who ever had the highest card wins.

"I feel I got something here." Pooch stated. "I feel like I got something."

"You probably got the shittiest card, because you ain't never won this before.", I mumbled.

Pooch elbowed me causing me to laugh. On my left side, Jensen was rubbing circles on top of his card.

"Queen King Jack. Queen King Jack.", he chanted to himself. "Alright. One, two, three, GO!"

We all stuck our cards on our heads. I looked around to see what everyone had. Jensen had a 2, Cougar an 8, Pooch a 3, and Roque a 2. All I had to do was have a 9 or over to beat Cougar.

"I have a great feeling about this one", Roque stated. If only you knew.

"Ya mama had a great feeling last night!", Jensen said.

Pooch "ooh"ed beside me and I rolled my eyes.

"Really? "Yo mama" jokes? How old are you 12? Besides, Roque's mama wasn't the only one that had a great feeling last night."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Ask your daddy."

This time both Roque and Pooch "ooh"ed at me while Cougar and Pooch gave me high fives. Jensen glared down at me before looking back at Roque. Roque looked back at him before pulling a big ass knife from behind him.

"Alright. Let's go."

"Alright." Jensen pulled a gun out from behind him and put it on the table. "I'll raise you."

"You don't wanna do that."

"Is that the piece you got off that Hungarian general?", Pooch asked.

"Yes", Jensen said dewing out the word.

"Well guess what." Pooch pulled a gun and placed it on the table. "I'm definitely in."

"Alright." Roque pulled out an even bigger knife from behind him. We all laughed and gasped when he kissed it and placed it at the center of the table where the other three weapons were.

"How many knives do you have?", Jensen asked.

I looked around the table. When nobody made a move to raise anything I sighed.

"You guys are fucked.", I grinned, slamming down my black, smooth bladed knife.

"Oh! She's puttin out The Panther!", Pooch yelped.

"Damn. Our cards must suck!", Jensen groaned. I smirked at them and nodded.

"I'm not gonna ask where you pulled that out of.", Roque said.

"I'm sure Jensen knows, huh Jensen?", Pooch said and elbowed Jensen. Jensen pushed him away, clearly annoyed.

Pooch was always on mine and Jensen's case. Before you ask, no me and Jensen are not dating. But Jensen obviously has a thing for me and I definitely have a thing for him. But, I'm the Captain and he's the Dork. We don't mix.

"Hey Losers."

The five of us turned to look at Colonel Franklin Clay, the lead of our group called the Losers.

"It's time.", he told us. We all looked at each other, knowing what that meant.