Phobia: Edge Me

Dress-Tease

I long to find someone
To strip me bare of the layers
Resting
       Atop
    My skin

I long for someone to embrace the silence,
My silence
And say, "You don't have to speak. I will love you just the same."
Respectfully, I would reply with a smile

It would be one less weight
On my shoulders
To not be expected to talk.
I would be left with my thoughts in peace.

But then the guilt settles in.

Suddenly, the lids of my eyes are pulled open and I see everything.
Everyone.
My mother, with a look so frustrated that it frightens me.
My sister with her prying eyes
And psychiatrist background
My best friend, who, although loves me, is capable of
Making me hate myself even more so.

I'm sorry I don't talk much,
I'm sorry for staying mute.
But I can't help it and you can't force me.

And so I long for someone
To strip me bare
And leave me that way.
Look at me.
Look at me
Touch me.
Press your forehead to mine
Tie my hands behind my back
Put a blindfold over my eyes and
Allow me to feel vulnerable at the presence of another.
Allow me to cry
Allow me to stay silent

Allow me to purge and scream and shout.
Take it all the way, and then redress me as if nothing happened.
Let the clothes suddenly become a dress-tease so you can enjoy
One last look
before I go mute again.