Phobia: Edge Me

Unfinished, Because There is Always Something To Add

Oh my God,

I'm scared of the sky.

More specifically, the stars.

I know what they can do,

how they breathe,

how they

die.

A supernova.

Can you just imagine our tiny planet being shaken by an explosion
so big that ricketier scales would fly off the chart?

Literally.

And the blinding light born from its destruction being painted as a work of
art.

This seems a little extreme, you might say
But,
In the eyes of an atheist, supernovas suddenly become
Divine
All powerful
Dangerous

So dangerous, in fact, that nuclear bombs pale in comparison
much to my dismay

So I could learn to embrace the stars and see them for their true beauty
Or
continue to live in fear the rest of my life, paranoid an explosion will shake
our world in the blink of an eye

I thought that dealing with my day to day anxieties couldn't get any worse
and obviously I was wrong
Because an occasional helicopter suddenly means war,
tires popping is the equivalent of a gunshot,
hearing sudden, loud noises make me want to
hide.

And cry.

I can't even be around balloons without covering my ears.

And dancing,
ballet
I haven't done that in a while.
It's scary how one injury shot me down completely,
to the ground, pointe shoes to be earned
not to be obtained for miles and miles.
It is getting better, slowly
And patience is something I always have but,
it's been three months and two and a half weeks

Too long. Don't you think?