Mafia // Ryan Blaney

seventeen // preparation

Two days.

In two days, this will all be over. The pain, the bullshit, everything we've been through these past few weeks. The guys have been preparing for this for years, and it's about time they finally got some peace.

I've been at Bubba's for the past week training. Twelve hours a day, nonstop. I need to be ready. This isn't going to go down like last time. I refuse to be weak. I refuse to be useless.

They keep telling me not to go, that it's too dangerous. They don't want to risk me getting hurt again, or even getting killed. After everything we've been through, they must be insane to think I won't go with them. I'm in too deep now. There's no turning back.

Am I scared? Of course. I have no idea what we could be walking into. There's five of us, and a hundred of them. We'll be outnumbered from the get-go. Will they be expecting us?

Am I afraid of dying? Hell yes. Am I ready? Hell no.

"Let's get back to work, K," Bubba said, helping me up off the floor. I nod and walk over to the targets. I know how to fight. It's firing a gun that still terrifies me.

Picking up my gun, I hold it at eye level and aim towards the target. I smile a little, remembering what Ryan told me the first time they taught me how to shoot.

"The main target points you want to aim for are the head, chest, and stomach. Head and chest will kill, but the stomach makes the death more painful and drawn out. Anywhere else is cosmetic. Aim to kill."

Keeping those words in mind, I take a deep breath and fire my first shot. I twitched a little at the noise, but I composed myself and kept firing until my clip was empty. I put the safety back on and set the gun down, then walked over to the target to see how I did.

Two in the head, one in the chest, one in the arm, and two in the stomach.

"Not bad. You're getting better." I didn't have to turn around to know it was Ryan.

We haven't talked much since I told him off. He comes over when I'm not here. I'm pretty sure I saw him sitting outside in his car the other day when I was leaving, but I ignored it. There's definitely a different way I could have gone about that conversation, but it's done and over with, and it's in the past now. There's nothing I can do to change it, so we just need to move on from it.

"Are you really not talking to me?" he asks, taking a step closer to me. I take one step back.

"I said all I had to say."

"Please just hear me out, Kacey." I motion towards the door, and he leads me into the backyard. Once we sit, he starts talking.

"I was an asshole when we first met, and I know that. And I know that I still can be sometimes, but I don't mean to be. I don't do well with feelings or emotions, and I was trying to bury what I was feeling for you the minute we met, and lately it's been getting harder and harder for me to do. I can't deny how I feel about you, and I swear to God it's like I fell in love with you that first day. Then you showed up that day and I will never not feel guilty for dragging you into our mess. Someone as amazing as you doesn't deserve to be put in this shitty situation. You're such a good person. You care more about everyone around you than you do about yourself. You risked your life for mine in that warehouse that day, and I will never be able to repay you for that.

"It was wrong of me to treat you the way that I did. I thought if I avoided what I felt for you, then they would just disappear. But I was wrong, because if anything, they've grown stronger. The night we kissed was one of the best nights of my life, and now look at us. You won't talk to me, and I don't know what to do to fix this. In two days, we'll be confronting death, and we may or may not make it out. No matter what happens, I'm keeping my promise to you; that once this is all over, we can be together. But I can't go into the uncertainty of Friday night without telling you that I love you, and I always will, no matter what happens."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I wanted you to know before it's too late."

"I love you too, Ryan."

And with that, we kissed for what could be the last time.