Worship in the Bedroom [Cake]

13

Calum tries to walk through the kitchen, he really does, but something catches his eye. And it's not that Michael and Ashton have somehow managed to get into Luke's kitchen and are now furiously making out against the counter. It's not that Olive is scrolling through his phone at the counter top bar with a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him, either. It's sparkling.

"What the hell?" Calum marches into the kitchen and grabs Michael by the shoulder firmly to rip him off of Ashton. "What the fuck is this?" He demands, grabbing Ashton's wrist. He eyes the ring on his finger in surprise, while Ashton squirms and blushes. It takes a lot for him to blush, Calum's officially suspicious.

"It's a ring," Michael tells him, like Calum's blind. Calum shoots him a glare and returns to examining the gold band on Ashton's finger. There's a small diamond set inside of it, shiny and sparkly, which was what had caught Calum's attention to begin with.

"An engagement ring?" He asks hopefully, wiggling his eyebrows at Ashton.

"Yeah, but-" Ashton starts.

Calum lunges forward and wraps his arms around Ashton's neck tightly, making him choke in surprise. "This is so exciting! You're engaged!"

"Technically-" Michael starts, so Calum grabs him around the neck as well and makes a group hug of it. Ashton shoves at Calum's ribs with his elbows and Michael squirms, but Calum holds strong to his stupid friends.

"Dibs on being best man!" He shouts. Ashton flinches, considering how close Calum's mouth is to his ear, and shoves harder.

When Ashton finally manages to dislodge Calum, he stomps on his foot for good measure and scowls. "Stop, it's fake, we're not getting married."

Calum glances over to Michael, who just shrugs lazily, then decides he'll can't bear to look at either of them and stares at Olive, instead. The violently red haired boy glances up and fiddles with his nose piercing with raised eyebrows. "Don't look at me, man, I told them it was a bad idea."

"It's a great idea!" Ashton scoffs.

Calum frowns and looks at Ashton, again. Begrudgingly. "What idea? To harass your best and probably only friend into thinking you're engaged?"

"No, to harass other people into thinking we're engaged," Michael grabs Ashton's hand and pulls the ring from his finger, then drops it on the counter. It makes a strange plastic sort of noise as it bounces, and Calum pouts. "It's fake. Hear me out, okay? We were at this restaurant last night, and somewhere in between Ashton kicking me under the table and nearly breaking my shin and me launching mashed potatoes at him, the couple behind us got engaged! And the restaurant gave them their meal for free! The entire thing, Cal, completely free!"

"There's more," Ashton adds.

"Oh, joy," Calum mutters dryly.

Ashton ignores him and continues. "Then, this morning, we went out for breakfast and-"

"Is that all you two do when I'm gone?" Calum interrupts. "Go out to eat? Why don't you ever go out to eat with me?"

"You're always with Luke and we hate Luke," Ashton replies dismissively. Olive makes a noise of agreement and returns to picking at his eggs. "Anyway, this other couple was next to us and we heard them tell the waitress they just got engaged, and they got a discount! It was, like, twenty percent!"

Calum glances between the two of them and starts to piece it together. "You're scamming people into thinking you're engaged?" He asks, slightly appalled, slightly impressed. Michael grabs Ashton's hand to slip the fake ring back onto and nods eagerly. Calum's not sure if he should congratulate them on a great scheme or punch them both in the throat for having any scheme at all. He shakes his head instead of speaking or punching and looks back to Olive.