Love Hangover [Complete]

Part Twelve - I Hate You!

After Nathan's revalation that he wasnt actually single and I had been sleeping with someone who was in a relationship with someone, I decided that I was just going to ignore him and pretend that he wasn't here.

He attempted to talk to me and make me listen to what I had to say, but I wasn't going to listen to another word that he said to me because I'm almost certain that it was going to be a whole other bunch of lies.

I just wasn't going to waste my time listening to what he was telling me because I had other things to do, like make sure I had what I needed for America because Kev was picking us up in ten minutes and then I was going to have to walk through the crowds of fans with a smile on my face, acting like everything was completely fine.

And I was going to have to do the same when it came to the boys as well, I was going to have no other choice but act like I was fine with Nathan, otherwise there would be the non-stop, constant questioning of why I was being a bitch to him and not talking to him.

Either way, I was going to lose and I was going to have to suffer for the enrtire trip in America.

*

"Jess?" I heard someone say, shaking me from my thoughts as I turned to look at who was speaking to me.

"Sorry. Yeah?" I replied quietly.

"We're at the airport. Are you alright?" Max asked me with a gentle smile on his face, offering me his hand to help me out of the van.

"Erm, yeah, I'm fine thanks." I smiled back at him as I picked my bag up off the floor and removed my suitcase from the boot of the car, slowly pulling it through the airport and making sure I remained a safe distance behind the other boys.

"Don't lie to me Jess. Tell me, what's happened?" Max asked me again, almost running so he could catch up with me.

"Look Max, just leave it. Please?" I snapped.

"Now I know that something is definitely wrong. What's happened?" Max repeated, stopping in front of me this time and preventing me from moving anywhere that he didn't want me to go; he was really going to annoy me because I didn't want to talk to anyone about what I found out this morning.

I just wanted to get this trip over and done with so that I could get back here, and actually leave the job as I was going to do before Nathan changed my mind for me and insisted that I didn't need to change my job; no I've been left with no other choice.

"Leave me alone." I sighed.

"Either you tell me what happened now, or I'll bug you for the entire time we're in America. Either way, you're going to tell me what's happened."

"Then you can wait, can't you? I just want to get on the plane, without anymore hassle."

"Fine. Just you wait." Max replied, moving out of the way and allowing me to walk straight past him and towards the gate where we would be boarding the plane. Nathan tried to get my attention, but I just walked straight past him and ignored whatever it was he was saying to me.

I heard him let out a frustrated sigh, but that didn't bother me.

I haven't got the time for him anymore, I just wanted to pretend nothing happened between the two of us because it would mean it hurts a hell of a lot less than what it does right now and I wouldn't have this overwhelming urge to want to punch Nathan for lying to me for however long he's been lying to me for now.

All I ever wanted was for someone to actually love me and want to be with me, but that was never going to happen because, every single time I get close to it happening, they have some reason why they can't be with me or there's a reason why they don't want to be with me; and it's always the same.

I am always going to be the screw up that no one loved or wanted to be with. I was just going to be known as the girl who slept with anyone that would have her because she was so desperate to be happy. I was always going to alone, and I was never going to be given a proper chance at happiness.

I just need to stop living in a dream world and grow up.

I was never going to be happy, and I was never going to get what I wanted, so there was no point in imagining I was.

"Jess. Please. Just listen to me. I'm begging you." Nathan said suddenly as he took a seat opposite me in the departure lounge, leaving the other boys to finish speaking to the fans and doing whatever else it was that they did.

"Why should I listen to anything you say to me? You lied to me Nathan." I replied, not even looking at him as I spoke to him.

"I was going to tell you the truth, but then-"

"Basically, you never would have told me if I hadn't forced you to. Would you?" I interrupted him before he could finish his lie.

"It's not that simple Jess. You don't understand." Nathan sighed.

"I don't care if it's simple. You lied to me. You've got a girlfriend, and you made me believe that there was something between the two of us. You were the one that came onto me in the first place, but this is still all my fault." I snapped at him, causing a few people to turn their attention in our direction because I ended up raising my voice more than I intended to do.

"If you understood, then you wouldn't be doing this right now." Nathan spat, and I could tell that he was annoyed with me, but he didn't understand how I was feeling and he had no right to tell me that I didn't understand when he had never bothered trying to explain it to me.

"Yes Nathan, you're right, I don't understand. I'm tired of trusting people and having them throw it back in my face. I am so tired of trying to be happy, only to have it taken away from me because something more important pops up in their life. I am tired of constantly being alone and having no one there for me. So, ask yourself this Nathan, do you understand why I feel the way that I do?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.

I was surprised that I managed to hold them back and stop them from falling, but he had no idea how I was feeling and he didn't know what I had been through with people in the past; as long as he was happy then I wasn't important and my feelings didn't matter.

"Maybe if you stopped throwing yourself at every single guy then you might get all of that and you wouldn't be so alone." Nathan shouted, to which every single person turned around and just glared at me like I was a piece of dirt on the bottom of their shoe and I didn't belong in their world.

"Oh. Well. Thanks for making your feelings clear. I guess I'll just leave you alone. Sorry. For everything." I replied quietly, wiping away the tears which had strayed down my cheek as I walked away from Nathan and placed my suitcase onto the conveyor belt so that it could be loaded onto the plane before I made my way to the check-in and wandered over to where two flight attendants where smiling at me, waiting for me to hand over my ticket and prove I was allowed on the plane and I wasn't just trying to escape the country illegally.

"Jess. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said." Nathan shouted after me.

"Save it Nathan. I don't want to speak to you again. I hate you."