Dear Poetry

Addicted

God damn,

I've been addicted for far too long,

No way out in and no way out,

Which way is up, which way is down,

Pick up my blades, put them away,

Pick up that joint, take a hit,

Fade away,

Find a bottle, why not just finish it off?

Damn, I have a fucking problem.

I wish I knew which way was the right way out,

I used to know how to stop,

But now I'm just in a vicious cycle of repetition,

Repetition and substitution,

If it's not this it's that,

Always some form  of self destruction,

What is happiness?

I just fucking want to be happy!

I just can't seem to find it long term.

Jesus, I just want to stay sober. 

I just want to quit all these terrible habits. 

It's isolation, substitution, repetition, 

You know the cycle, don't you?

I'm tired of wasting people's time.