Chapter 57.

34 2 0
                                    

Albert's POV.

I knew it. I knew that I should've apologised to her right in the moment she walked away from me. I should have grabbed her arm to make her look at me. I should have told her how afraid I was of losing her and that's the main reason why I'm always talking to her about Andrew. I should have made her stay with me. I fucking should.

Instead, I pushed her away. I told her to leave me alone and, worst, I said that I didn't love her back. After everything she told me about how afraid she was to blindly show her feelings, she said she loved me.

She was completely honest with me and I just lied to her. I said I didn't love her back. I confirmed the first fear she had when we started our relationship.

During this whole time, I've been trying to take her fears and insecurities away and now I just grabbed them and put them right on the surface.

I know how bad she's feeling right now, how hurt she is. That's why I had to enter in my room. I couldn't say these things while looking into her eyes.

I couldn't. Every word that came out of my mouth simply destroyed every single piece of me. A hole of pain formed in my throat and I never saw tears falling from my eyes like that way before. Even when my father died.

I want to go to her house, jump through the window and tell her how much I love her and that I only said those hurtful things to prevent her from suffering. I want to fall on my kness and beg her for forgiveness and the worst feeling is that I know she would forgive me. She always does no matter how badly I fuck things up.

She can live without me and she's not dependent on me like I am on her.

And even feeling like admiting this is kicking the shit out of me, Andrew can make her happy. He can make her smile and he's a better influence for her. I want to beat him so hard right now for even thinking this of him.

I just don't know what to do now. I changed classes because of her.. Yes, I didn't like chemistry but the main reason I changed was because of her. I wanted to look at her by the corner of my eye, I wanted to follow every moment of her. The way she holds her pen on her right hand and the way she hides beneath her hair.

On the first day in her class, I seated on the desk next to hers and I was so fucking nervous. I was afraid of her reaction by my precocious approaching.

I remember the day I walked her to her class with the excuse of finding Sophia. I just wanted to spent some time with her and she was looking at me in such a strange way.

She was staring at me but not like other people do. She was detailing me, reading me. And having a person who wanted to know me, the real me, was so new back then.

I lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes. I feel a twist of anxiety on my stomach because I never tried to sleep again since I slept beside her on her room but I have to try. I have to learn how to survive without her. I have done it before, I can do it now.

Emily's POV.

I wanted to run back to Sophia's house, burst to his bedroom door and slap him. I wanted to say hateful things to him so he would have felt as much as bad as I did but I didn't want to. I love him more than anything in the world, even if he doesn't love me back.

Contrary to what he tries to show to other people he's sensitive too. I know he is. The way he hugs me, the way he kisses me and holds me, the way he just simply touches me is enough to prove that he truly cares about me. He might not love me, but I know he cares.

I can feel it in the way he talks to me, on his sweet smile and even when he just glances at me.

He closed me the door. He said he didn't love me without even having the nerve to say it to my face. I want to challenge him. I don't want to give him up, not just yet. Not after everything we've been through. After he told me his story about his father and his somnambulism. Not after that.

UnexpectedWhere stories live. Discover now