25//square one

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**trigger warning**

I lay on my floor with swollen eyes and

The 1975 blares out of my phone.

This band has helped me so much.

Timothy the lead singer,

the drummer, Bedford,

the bassist Brian, and

the guitarist Stewart.

Oh, I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind,

I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind.

It makes me cry even more,

and more in a heap in loneliness and pain in the corner of my room.

I go into my bathroom and go to the place I know too well.

In the medicine cabinet behind the bottle of Advil.

I find what I am looking for

and run my finger over the blade.

It feels like home.

I miss the pain.

Matty had stopped me for a bit.

I was actually happy.

I pull the sharp blade over my skin and I feel the incision.

I grab a bottle from under my sink too,

because why not?

For a split second I think about Matty,

but my sweet little noodle boy deserves better than me.

He would probably be happier without me.

I sit on my bedroom floor with a bleeding arm

and my bottle of Smirnoff.

Because who the fuck cares?
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A/N: If you guys ever wanna talk, I'm here. Or if you just want a new friend :)
My sc is adrii_sheerio & my IG is adri.aam

P.S. I just used the boys' middle names because I'm not creative)

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