Beautiful Symphony

Chapter 24

  I turned the doorknob, dreading whatever scene lay ahead. I knew I had already left the house with Dad mad at me, and coming home late was certainly not going to help.

  I stepped into the house, not hearing a whisper. I cautiously made my way upstairs and took my shoes off in my room. As I made my way back to the staircase, Dad stood at the bottom. I froze.

  "And where have you been? This late?" He questioned, with a stern look on his face.

  I said nothing. I just stood there, staring at the ground. Why should he care? I'm here, aren't I?

  "Ariette." He demanded. "We have been worried sick. Talk."

  Silence. The more he wanted me to speak, the more I wanted to resist.

"Why do you still do this? I don't understand. Just talk to me. It's been five years, Ariette! You've barely held a conversation with me in all that time! I'm your father!" He yelled.

  "Don't yell at me." I said, almost in a whisper.

  He huffed. "What do you want me to do, then? You never tell me anything! How am I supposed to know what you want? What you need? I need to know how you are, and where you've been!"

  I just squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the railing. I could feel my knuckles turning white.

  He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I just never know what to do. I've given you everything. Everything I can."

  "Everything?" I spoke up. His face lifted to look at me. "You have given me things. Money and power, and status. Medical attention and diagnosis. I didn't need any of that. What I needed was you. You always kept yourself busy with work and Crystal. You didn't pay attention to me. Not the attention I needed. You know, it has been five years, and we have not once sat down and talked about Mom. You always come home, and act like everything is all peachy. Like nothing ever happened. Even if you do mention her, it's only for a moment. It's almost like you've- you're forgetting her."

  I was crying by then. That was the most I had ever said to my Dad, and it was full of anger and frustration. He started to speak, but I stopped him.

"I know I'm broken! And I don't know what to do either!" I almost screamed at him. "This stupid vacation is the only thing that has made me happy in years, and now we're leaving. All because of your stupid job. I guess that is more important though, isn't it?"

  I looked at him through my teary eyes. He was frozen, like a statue. It was as if he heard an animal talk for the first time.

  I wiped my tears with my sleeve and stormed into my room, slamming the door shut. I didn't even make it to the bed. I just collapsed into a heap on the floor.

  I was so upset, and so alone. I felt so weak. I just laid there, letting my tears create a never ending ocean.

  I missed her. I missed her so much. She always made everything better. But she was gone. Dead. Forever. And there was nothing I could do.

  He didn't understand me. I thought that maybe, someday, he might. But until then, this was like speaking a foreign language.

  I was a foreigner in their normal, perfect world.

                                    *****
  I ended up staying in my room for several hours before deciding to get up.

  Dad had made no attempt at speaking to me after my outburst. I didn't know if it was because he didn't want to, or didn't know how to. And I had no idea where Crystal was in all of this mess.

  I crept downstairs, seeking comfort from the piano. I squeezed my sweater around me, feeling cold inside and out.

  I had thought about calling Elliot, but I had already dumped a ton of my emotions on him already. I didn't want to burden him.

  I slipped my hand around the door, swinging it open. The lights were on, and the doors to the outside were open. Dad was sitting on the steps. He didn't seem to notice my entrance.

  I stood by the door, listening to him talk. It sounded like he was on the phone or something. Probably work. I couldn't make out any words, so I crept closer.

  There was no phone in his hands. They were in his lap, thumbs twiddling. His eyes looked red. Was he... Crying?

  He looked up to the sky and started again.

  "I don't know what to do, Marnie."

  Mom?

  "She's my baby. Our baby. I know I haven't been the father I should have been. It's really hard to look at her sometimes, because she looks just like you. I don't know how to deal with my own grief, let alone hers. I just want her to be happy again. I want us to be happy again."

  I hid behind a curtain.

  Dad...

  I peeked at him once more, and snuck out of  my hiding spot. I stood at a the entrance of the room, making it seem like I had just arrived.

  "Hey."

  He spun around, and rose from his spot.

  I walked closer and asked, "Can I sit?"

  "Go ahead." He gestured to the spot next to him. I sat down, holding my hair still from the blowing wind. He returned to his spot next to mine.

  We sat for a minute, enjoying the silence. I looked over at him, and he was just staring up at the moon.

  "Dad?" I said.

  He turned to me, snapping back to reality. "Hm?"

  Here I go...

  "I met a boy."

His face was priceless.