The Beauty in Pain | Book One of In Pain Trilogy *EDITING*

40. Heart vs. Brain

"I'm not sure about this anymore."

Mynera sighed, paused what she was doing. She turned to Saenar, who was leaning against the wall, as far away from her as he could get. They were in her bedchambers, alone, while she packed. It was indecent for him to be here, especially since they were not husband and wife, but, considering the amount of indecent things they have done already, this was nothing. Still, Saenar insisted on keeping distance.

Right now, he was worrying his bottom lip, staring at the ground. When she turned, he fixed his brown eyes on her.

"We've talked about this, Saenar," Mynera sighed. "It's a good plan. The best one so far, and I recall that when she said it, you didn't sound so opposed to it."

"That was then," he insisted. When she sighed again and turned to continue packing, Saenar inched closer. "I wasn't thinking properly then. But now that I've gotten enough time, I don't think this is a good idea."

"And why is that?" Her voice was mild, merely humouring him. Saenar knew this but he still pressed on.

"Think about it, Mynera. This man has sent almost half his men out to look for you. He obviously isn't sane. I don't want you staying in the same castle as someone like him."

"I can –"

"Yes, yes," he snapped. "You can take care of yourself. But let me take care of you this time, Mynera. Please, I don't want you going there. We'll think of something else."

"We've already wasted too much time, Saenar. This is our best bet."

"Risking your life? This is tantamount to a suicide mission!"

"I would gladly risk my life if it means avenging my father!" Mynera whirled on him, eyes ablaze. Anger at the usuper had her stepping forward in wrathful strides. "I'm doing this, Saenar. I know you don't want me to and I know this is very risky but we have no other choice. It's either you're with me, or you're not."

"You know I'm with you, Mynera."

"Good." With a nod, she turned away. "We both lost people, Saener. You more than me but they're gone all the same. I plan to let him rue the day he messed with us."

Saenar was behind her in a second. He didn't care about indecency anymore, didn't care that they were being way too in appropriate. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. She stilled, enjoying the embrace. When her hand reached up to hold his, he sighed in contentment. I haven't felt this happy since Charmaline, he thought.

"What was that?"

Opening his eyes, Saenar blinked. "What was what?"

Mynera slipped out of his arms, showering him instantly with the cold of rejection. Her eyes were alight with hurt and just a hint of anger. "You ... you dare to mention her name to me?"

Darn.

"I ... I hadn't notice I said that aloud."

"Well, you did." Mynera stepped farther away. Saenar resisted the urge to grab her and haul her back. How could he have said his thoughts aloud? So far, they've been doing really well ignoring the ginger haired girl that laid between them. Charmaline was like a ghost, following them around but they paid it no mind. The ghost had been fading, drifting away in light of their happiness. He just brought the ghost back.

"I'm sorry, Mynera," he said instantly. He stepped forward and she stepped back. "It was just a slip of the tongue."

"You were thinking about her." The words were harsh, a slap in the face. A slap into reality. He had been thinking about her.