The Hart Wants What The Hart Can't Have

Distance

A few days had gone by and Hannah and Mamrie had only said a few words to each other and things were feeling really tense neither of them knew what was going on.

Via text

Grace: hey, can I come round to your today, need some help with this video? G x

Hannah: yeah sure dude, want to come around 3? x

G: yeah that sounds great, see you then. X

I tidied my house up a little bit, since I've kind of just moped around for the last 4 days and not even bought any food, but seeing grace will do me good. I filmed my video last night for MDK so I'll edit that now before grace gets here.
3:15pm and there was a knock at the door, I go over and answer it and obviously it's grace.
'Hey grace' I greet her
'Hi Han, you okay you look a bit down?' She replies concerned.
'Yeah come in and I'll make a drink'
We walked over to my couch and I poured me some iced black tea and a glass of water for grace and I returned into to the sitting room. 'So what did you need my person for?' I asked jokingly.
'So i wanted some help with editing this video I think I need some of your MDK stuff and wanted to go through it with you'  she said getting straight into work.
'Yeah, what was you thinking?' I really wanted to talk about Mamrie and if she had said anything to grace but I didn't want to bring it up if she hadn't said anything. I felt awkward around grace because I know that grace and Mamrie are really good friends and the confide in each other about everything.

A few hours had gone by and grace and I had been through loads of footage of MDK and now I'm helping her edit it into her video. We were just chatting casually about silly things that are going on in our lives when grace asks
'Have you heard much from Mamrie recently?'
'No, how come?' I answer
'Well I called her 4 days ago and she seemed a bit off but wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but since then I talk to her and it's just s dead conversation with one word replies', I'm starting to get a little worried about her'
'I haven't heard anything, sorry' I reply trying not to say anything too much.
'Maybe you should ring her, because I feel like I've done something wrong and she is avoiding me'   I feel bad, grace is really concerned that Mamrie doesn't like her, I have to tell her, but she will freak and I can't deal with losing another friend, grace is like my big brother. I'm not sure I would cope without her.
'I don't think it's anything to do with you' I say trying not to attract question.
'Did she say anything to you? Didn't she sleep at your house the night before I rang?'
'Yeah' I decided replying with a short answer was better than telling a lie.
'Well did she seem off?'
Grace just kept questioning i had to tell her, I need to tell, man here goes nothing.
'Mamrie kissed me when she was drunk and we made out but then she woke up naked in my bed the next day and I lied to her about it, and then I told her later and she got mad, I was going to try sort it out but then you rang her and she left my house. I haven't seen her since. I've text her a few times but that about it.' I explained truthfully.
'What the fuck did you do Hannah?' Grace sounded mad, like an angry j don't usually see her get
'I did nothing we didn't have sex or anything. She kissed me' I say defensively.
'I don't care who kissed who, Mamrie is probably confused and feeling alone right now.'
'What about me? Huh? I feel confused and alone' I lied I don't feel confused I know exactly how I feel, I'm in love with her I really truly am, but I do feel alone. I have no one now. 
'Hannah you should have told me we could have solved this'
'Grace... I like her.... A lot' I say truthfully.
Grace said nothing. She walked up to me slowly I didn't know whether she was going to punch me or hug me. She wrapped her arms around me and held my head to her shoulder, and stroked my hair, and it was at that moment I realised I was crying I had been ever since I admitted out loud to grace that I like Mamrie. I didn't realise how much emotion I was holding in and hiding from people. Now all I want to do now is run down the street and shout 'I LOVE MAMRIE' as loud as I can. But unfortunately she won't even talk to me so there is no point.
Grace released me from the hug and told me hang in and that she need to go, once she had left I sat on the couch and scrolled through Mamrie's Tumblr tag until I fell asleep.

Peace and love y'all ✌🏻️