The Hart Wants What The Hart Can't Have

Confessions

I stand looking at myself in the mirror, it's 7:56am. Just breathe I repeat to myself, knowing that the next hour is going to be hard. I feel so confused right now and I need to talk about it and I need to do it with my best friend. I walk down the road trying to think of what to say and how to act and whether I should hug her or just sit straight down. I get to the coffee shop at 8:04am. I peer in the shop window and I see her, she is so beautiful, her hair loosely tied up on top of her head, a green shirt, some black denim shorts and man those bright blue eyes that I could get lost in for hours and hours. I take a big deep breathe and I walk in.

'Hey', Hannah greeted me. I don't think she knew whether to hug or just say hi and sit down. It was very awkward.

'Hey' I replied just casually. Well as casual as I could.

'So hear is my official apology for lying to you, I feel so bad about it, it was stup...'
'No, don't be silly it was me, I over reacted. I'm obsessing over a kiss I don't even remember' I cut her off with as much honesty as I could fathom.
'Mames I don't know what I would do without you, your my best friend and I can't live without you.' These words meant so much to me I could feel my reply coming and I didn't want it to, I tried suppressing it but...
'Hannah, I think I love you' shit, what did I do? Why did I say that? she just stayed there frozen shit! Shit! Shit.... Wait she moving she stood up and she walking round the table she's looking deep into my eyes I can feel my heart pounding through my chest she lifts her hands up and holds my face, I don't know what to do I just sit there frozen stuck to my seat, I don't want to move because I don't want this feeing to go, wait she saying something listen Mamrie!

'Kiss me, Mamrie' she says. I look down away from her eyes to her lips all I want to do is kiss her but then what if after all this it wasn't as good and she made it out to be what if I realise I'm not into her.
'Mamrie, I'm going to kiss you now, if you don't want me too tell me to stop, okay?' I nod and she slowly starts moving her face closer to me I can feel her breathe I can feel her body close, all I want to do is kiss her,

'Stop', I muttered quietly. She stops still in her tracks and looks into my eyes. Why did I say stop this girl is something else, I need her. I want her. Right here. Right now. I front off all of these people. I want her.
I grab the back of her neck and pull her face into mine, I can feel my whole body reacting. She is so good at kissing, I'm getting So hot I think I might pass out, or maybe it has something to do with the fact I have t breathed for about a minute. She pulls away before I could deepen the kiss and mutters 'maybe not when so many people around' she pecks me on the lips and it makes me smile I haven't felt this happy for a long time. I haven't even felt this passionate about someone in a long time.

'Shall we go back to yours?' I say urging that I want more.
'I don't sleep with girls on the first date' she whispers back in my ear. She kisses me on the check and winks then leaves the coffee house. Her winks are going to give me a heart problem. But I just kissed Hannah hart and I'm so happy, I want to skip down the road whilst singing. I have so much energy and happiness and love and it all because of that gorgeous little blonde girl, who is my best friend. And maybe now my lover.

Peace and love y'all ✌🏻️