#22

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Suffering is not a contest
I'm not trying to belittle anyone's problems so why are you belittling mine?
Saying that my problems aren't as bad as...
The starving kids in Africa or the homeless people sitting on the streets
As if I don't know people have it worse then me
As if I think what I'm going through is the worst thing in the world

You're right, I should be more grateful
More grateful for my house, my food, my clothes, my working body...

My abusive parents, my severe depression, my severe anxiety, my insomnia, my paranoia?
Should I be grateful that as well?
Should be grateful for the fact that my parents beat me, I feel like life isn't worth living, I have to force myself to say words, I can't get 1 minute of sleep, I'm scared that anyone could come and fucking kill me at any moment of the day?
Should I grateful for that?

Should I be grateful that I'm pansexual, that I'm transgender
Should I be grateful that at any moment in time, someone could tell my parents that I like boys and girls and "everyone else"?
Should I be grateful that my parents would put in the category of "everyone else"?
Should I be grateful for the fact that if they knew I'd either be dead or homeless?

I live in a constant fear that someone will find out my secrets and fuck me over...
So... Should I be grateful for that?

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