Invisible Me

Chapter 45

"I know people die," I say. "I'm not that dumb. Leave me alone." I run out the door, slamming it behind me. When I reach the corner, I realize I've left Randy behind.

I stand there feeling stupid and waiting for the feeling to go away. It's like a fog that won't lift. I want to cry, but the tears won't come. Funny, I met Zack once. I hardly knew him. But he made an impression on me. And he was one of the few people I could talk to about books..

My whole life seems like a terrible dream, and I want to wake up.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look back and Randy is peering at me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'll live," I say, not answering his question.

"I'm . . . sorry." He places his hand on my arm.

I turn around and face him. "Don't worry. It's not your fault he died. People die all the time."

"Look, I only meant . . ."

"I know. You feel sorry for me. Don't worry about it. Life sucks and that's just the way it is. Old books and old things and old people don't matter. Everything dies. Who cares?"

"Portia, stop it!" he shouts.

The fog lifts. I realize I'm acting like a jerk. "I . . . I'm sorry, Randy."

Randy takes a deep breath. "It's okay, Portia. I understand. I'm your friend."

I take a moment to think. "It's very hard when you move around all the time and don't make many friends," I say. "I wish I'd gotten to know Zack better. That's all."

"Maybe you should tell that to his granddaughter."

"Yes, you're right." Damn it.

We return to the shop. "I'm sorry I acted so dumb," I say. It's all I can do to look at her. She doesn't act angry. She reaches out and hugs me, which startles me no end. Jeez, two hugs in one day. A record. I'm not complaining.

"It's all right," she says. "When bad things happen unexpectedly, we often say and do things we regret."

Well, that's interesting. But I'll bet I am her first albino freak. She doesn't understand that I always expect the worst. I'm programmed that way. Maybe my reasoning is faulty. Obviously, I didn't expect Zack to die. We all have to die. Tell me something I don't know!

"I'm really sorry to hear about Zack," I tell his granddaughter. "I only met him once, but he was very friendly and kind. I'll miss him."

The tears come. I can't stop them. They roll down my cheeks. Zack's granddaughter hugs me so hard, I can barely breathe.

"Excuse me," I manage to say.

"Yes?" she says.

"Do you have any tissues?"

"Sure." She runs to the back and returns with a box of Kleenex. I pull out a couple and blow my nose. My dark glasses are fogging up. I keep wiping tears, sniffling, and blowing my nose.

"My name is Sophia," she says. "And you two are . . ?"

"I'm Randy. And this is my friend, Portia."

"Portia. That's a pretty name. Portia was a wise woman in one of Shakespeare's plays."

Yeah, I know. "Thanks, Sophia," I say. "Your name is pretty, too."

"Um, Portia. Would you like to use my lens cleaner to wipe your glasses?"

"Thank you, Sophia. I'll ask one favor. Please don't freak out." Sophia smiles. She doesn't have a clue how I'm gonna rock her world.

I remove my sunglasses. Sophia's smile fades, but it doesn't disappear. She places a hand on my shoulder.

"You should have told me," she says.

"That she had pink eye?" Randy ventures.

We all start to laugh. "Wait! It gets better." I remove my ball cap, and my blue-streaked hair tumbles out.