Twitter Dms l.h .

0.20 camouflage

emma pov:

who would've thought you'd wake up so cold. actually mostly my faulty after the talk with Luke i went straight back to the boys into the guest room i didnt even bother to actually get in the bed.

i can't lie and say it didnt feel good seeing him because it did it felt good talking to him and seeing how he was. but going back to him means going back to our life our relationship open to everyone else in the media i didnt what that, at least not now.

what i wanted now was a normal college relationship. Jake gave me that. We went out to little areas on dates we went on road trip without having to be worried who is around us. He went to every college game with me . Jake was there at every dance event i had and it was nice hearing him rant about pre law classes and how interested he was in justice. Thats what i wanted right now not red carpet events, tours, meet and greets, the constant flowing in of fans, my life in public. i never knew as a fan how much the other partner gave up and i will remain a fan of them but the love i had with Luke wasn't the one i wanted right now.

i do believe there's a difference between being endgame and being an epic love. to me Jake is an epic love , our love to me consumes me i am so happy and content with him my happiness is shown more. but a huge part of me knows in the end Luke and i are endgame. Michael has told me constantly he is still rooting for us to be endgame and i hope he's right . A huge part of me wants him to be right i want to be endgame with luke . i want our love to be one people envy to have us walk around and people look at us even if we are in our 60's and we look like a pair of 18 year olds in love because thats what we were. granted that was almost a year ago and Calum was right in the short months from a love i fell in love again and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with falling from a new love to another that's where people assume wrong. every love is different none is the same which is why its so easy to fall in love with new people and how easily it is to fall out of love. I'll be the first to admit im not out of love with Luke i still love him so much its just the love we have isn't something i want right now im not ready for it. with Jake everything comes so easy im not worried about anything with him i feel at ease i feel like he can give me the kind of love that consumes me at the moment the kind of love that i truly want right now . and im so happy with the love we have right now.

but can you be in love with two different people and have it both be a different kind of love ?

i don't know if you can but that's how i feel right now you can call me selfish hell i'm calling myself that. here i have two lovely people in my life two different guys that i love im happy when im with both of them im in my own little world until i realize one won't work at least not right now.

with Luke i was i am so happy. he was my world i always worried for him i cared for him. i am still in love with him but at the same time i feel like our love was toxic. i was always about him and he was always about me. and that's how a relationship should be but we got distracted . i got distracted from school and dance and Luke got distracted from music , tour, even the fans in wasn't right for them. but then eventually Luke himself got bored of me, i know he said it was only once but it hurt so bad. i mean you put all you trust into one person and then they hurt you it hurts , however i moved passed it. i will admit Luke and i had fun times and many laughs until the end .

now with Jake its pure . its full of many laughs more laughs than anything. we go on little adventures everyday . i get up and by the time i get out of my place there he is with the biggest smile and coffee we walk to campus hand in hand talking about our day or what we have planned . its normal its fun its new. i remember meeting his parents and just being there happy with him and not thinking about for once how Luke was or what he was up to.

i needed to leave the boy's place i would hang out with the boys again but i cant get too close to luke because i know thats not the love i want right now. I myself am hoping we're endgame but endgame is still a couple of years from now.

i packed up my things and went downstairs.

"emma?"

i turned to face him "Luke?"

"come here."

i shook my head i couldn't

"just come here, one minute?"

"one minute Luke and only one."

i went next to him on the couch and just sat there next to him not saying a word but i knew what we were saying

"i am still so in love with you emma."

"i know Luke but our love isn't what i want ri-."

"i know im willing to let you love Jake and for us to just be friends until our love is right for the time.

-

I PUBLISHED THIS EARLY IM CRYIN IM SORRY GUYS

BUT I NEED FEEDBACK IF YOU GUYS STILL LOVE THI STORY OR SHOULD I GIVE UP