Transgender in High School
I wake up every morning, wondering how long it will be before I can start finally being myself.
I go into my bathroom, stare into the mirror, but who I see staring back isn't me. Staring back is a girl with her hair in a pony tail, glasses on her face, and a tank top. That isn't who I'm supposed to be.
I quickly put in my contacts and brush my teeth, putting my shortish hair back into a pony tail.
Going into my room, I wonder which shirt I can wear that won't be tight around my body.
I put my stuff in my bag and hop downstairs, constantly tugging at the front of my shirt to stop the clinging.
I look for food to eat, then settle on nothing because there's no time and I'm never really hungry in the mornings. (That's a lie. I'm always hungry. I just don't eat enough.)
The bus comes, and the bus driver says the dreaded words I hate to hear from her. "Good morning, miss." Miss. I know she's just trying to be polite, but I hate it.
Nothing eventful happens. We learn school stuff. I get bored. The bell rings. I book it to English on the other side of the school from my class. I make it with two minutes to spare, like every day.
I talk to my friends, Danni, Melissa, and Hope. Danni starts pretending to eat me and I pretend to slap her away, looking girly in the process.
"Woah, way to girly on my part." I say.
Hope looks at me and roles her eyes. "You are a girl!" My smile fades from my face and I look down. I know she doesn't mean to, but that hurt. That sentence, that stupid sentence, is the one I hate the most. You are a girl. How do you figure that? Why does she think I'm a girl? Just because of what my body is. My body doesn't define me. Only my mind can tell you who I am.
I sit down in my seat, those words echoing in my ears the rest of class time.
At lunch I try to sit with my friend Jonah, but he's sitting with a group of guys that I know would not want a "girl" sitting with them. Newsflash, I'm not a girl. But I am the only one that knows that. Nobody else would understand.
I go to P.E. next. All girls. How wonderful. Note the sarcasm. At least this is my last class. Then I can go home and be myself, not the shell of a girl that doesn't even exist, besides the name.
I get off the bus and walk into the house and into my room. I quickly put a hat on and fix myself in the reflection.
The person in the reflection stares back at me, and I finally recognize them. Recognize me. I see a boy with short hair and a hat, a Spiderman shirt on, and a calm expression. I finally see me.
The boy on the inside, reflecting on the outside.
