The Inside

When I'm Alone

When I’m home

When mom and dad are busy

When I feel alone

Like nobody needs me

I go into my room

Take off my clothes

Throw them on the floor

My body’s disfigured

A birth defect, I say

I have these “lumps”

I wish they’d just go away

So on goes on “the choker”

Now I can barely breathe

Pressing against my ribcage

The pain makes me want to scream

On go the boxer briefs

They always ride up

I run to my window

Make sure the blinds are shut

I look down in disgust

This is not what I want!

Sure, I like them on girls.

In fact, I like them a lot!

But this is not for me.

All I want is to break free.

Nobody sees “him”

Nobody cares

In his own little world he lives.

Confused, broken, scared

I put the shirt on, got it straight from the men’s section.

Pull the pants up

To baggy in every direction

I look into the mirror

Now this looks like me

This boy waiting for life

Could he ever be?