All of It

Six

We sat on the dock in complete silence, it even seemed that the water had gone still, and nature was holding its breath.

"Ryan, I don't know what to say." I turned and looked at him, "what do you want me to do?"

"Telling me that I'm not an ass or baby would be nice, considering I just spilled my guts to you." He mumbled, toying with his hair.

"You're not an ass, or a baby."

"Wow thanks Bren, I appreciate it. The raw emotion you're displaying? Great way to make me feel better, thank you." Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Imagine how I fucking feel Ry!" I exclaimed, "I'm not exactly the most perfect daisy in the field!"

"Is that even a thing?" Ryan asked, probably not being able to resist his natural sarcasmness and total ass personality.

"Does it even fucking matter?" I growled, "thanks for the apology Ryan, but I should go before one of us fucks up- that being you." I shook my head in disbelief of his attitude and started to get up.

"Wait Brendon, I'm sorry I- you know that's what I'm like I can't help being an ass."

"Yeah unfortunately, I do. I've known you for literally years. Ryan I fucking knew everything about you, if you weren't aware we were inseparable once upon a time," I rambled, "It's my turn to rant and you're gonna fucking listen."

Ryan didn't make eye contact with me as I started ranting. "You think I don't remember everything? You think you remembering is a factor of me forgiving you? Imagine sitting in your recording room writing songs about it-" Ry started to interject but since, I had known him for so long I knew exactly what he was going to say. "Wow yes Where I Belong or Lonely Moon because two songs compares to a whole album."

"You listen to my songs?" Ryan questioned and looked up at me.

"Yes! I fucking listen to your music! Do you not listen to mine?"

He just looked down to the side again.

He doesn't listen to the band's damn music? He couldn't even bother listening to Panic!'s music before he came and apologized to me like a big shot?

"Not one?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I heard Victorious on the radio once..." He trailed off.

All the sympathy or little bit of care I had for Ryan completely flipped over. My knuckles turned white and I felt my nails dig into my palms.

Did I care in the least bit? Not really, no.

"Of course." I unhinged my knuckles and ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn't even about to start talking, he didn't need words to know how I felt, I don't even think I had the words.

"You're bleeding." Ryan mumbled.

"What?" I asked, obviously annoyed that he was talking. I was tired of this bullshit, and I honestly don't need any-fucking-more.

"You're bleeding Bren," He got up and stood in front of me taking my hand.

"What the fuc-"

"Could you please be mad at me when there's not blood running down your wrist?" He said looking at me with soft eyes.

He gently let go of my palm, and I held it here- almost in shock that after busting out he stopped me because of some blood.

I wasn't looking at him, but I did hear a rip before he took my hand again.

He gently wiped away some of the running blood with his thumb, wiped it on his jeans, then wrapped the piece of cloth around my palm.

"It was just a little blood." I mumbled and pulled my hand back and cradling it with the other.

"You're welcome," he muttered and sat down again. I didn't thank him, just out of plain rudeness. "So are you going to continue yelling at me or..." Ryan asked  readjusting his posture.

"Don't be like that you dick," I said starting to pace.

"A dick that just tore off part of his shirt and wrapped up your wound, but still a dick nonetheless," I heard Ryan say under his breath. I didn't acknowledge it and kept pacing, toying with the fabric around my hand.

"You know what? Thank You being such a decent human being, because I sure as hell am not huh?" I spat. 

"Can you not be like that?! Honestly Brendon I came and fucking apologized, what happened to not even three hours ago when we had a tickle fight on your couch? Id like that Brendon back thanks."

"Okay so you and and apologized and now you just want me to forgive you just like that? Thanks for the fucking apology, my hearts all mended and throbbing for you." I rolled my eyes, "I'm not gonna just be okay after all of this! I-"

"Brendon I realize that, so just tell me what you need to tell me, but if you yell at me anymore I might start to cry. I promise I'm here to listen."

AN:

Hiiiii?????? Okay so I'm going on vacation  (and a fucking panic! concert) so I'll try to update on Saturday or Sunday again (which yeah I know that's a week and that's very sucky so I'm sorry) but yeah...

Brendon's kinda being an ass though jfc

Stay hydrated and heathy and safe and all that good stuff

FALL OUT BYEEEE

I need to get better at these yikes

-S