All of It

The Fight

"No Brendon! You listen to me!" Ryan yelled, walking towards Brendon, backing him into a corner.

"You did this! I can't believe I ever let you walk into my life and fuck everything up." He scolded, jabbing a finger and Brendon's chest.

Brendon looked at Ryan shocked. His eyes were wider than a full moon, his heart beat at the pace of a rabbits foot.

"Ryan, please stop we can-"

"NO!" Ryan shouted, "I'm fucking done with you're goddamn bullshit!"

Brendon stood, paralyzed in shock. His hands stretched against the wall, trying to feel an escape from this nightmare. He leaned more and more into it- desperate to get out, desperate to wake up and have it all just become forgotten. Or to just disappear into thin air, anything would have been better than this.

"Ryan I don't understand, please stop yelling," he croaked, "Please? I love you- we can work something out just calm down."

"You don't fucking get it do you? I. Don't. Love. You. Nobody does Brendon. Look at you, you sad little shit. What? Can't handle being yelled at? Wanna start crying? Poor Beebo. You pathetic asshole." He spat his words like venom, his eyes full of disgust as he stared down at Brendon.

Brendon's breath rose and fell at an unhealthy pace- he tried hiding it, afraid of Ryan and what he would say.

No. this isn't Ryan. He would repeat to himself. This isn't Ryan this isn't Ryan this isn't Ryan.

His hands shook uncontrollably, spasming and cramping rapidly. He clenched his fists, fighting the shakiness.

This isn't Ryan.

Brendon could hardly take a breath. Every time he breathed it seemed like he was choking, gasping for air, when he was already drowning in it. A ball formed at the back of his thoat, making him want to scream out- he held it in, and his body started trembling even more.

This isn't Ryan.

Ryan was talking but Brendon could only hear mumbles. Shapes, objects, lights, sounds- they all seemed distorted and blurry. The only thing he could hear were his breaths and the shouting coming from Ryan.

No, This isn't Ryan

His stomach turned, it felt like all of his intestines were flipping over. Like his abdomen was connected to a rope that was pulling him, but he was retrained. The feeling of being pulled, dragged- it gnawed at him. They weren't butterflies, they were snakes.

This isn't Ryan.

"Your'e fucking worthless! Every word that comes out of your mouth- every lyric you write down nausates me. I wish I died that day I got sick so I wouldn't have to listen to you're shitty ass voice lead this band." Ryan snarled, looking at Brendon like he could kill him then and there, blinded by the fact that Brendon was having a panic attack, he kept going spitting out his words like acid, his clenched fists dug his nails into his palms, sweat starting to form at his hairline, he abused at his Best Friend, screaming, yelling.

Brendon couldn't hear him, he didn't want to hear him. He blocked it out, feeling claustrophobic from the air around him, like every atom was a piece of cement, trapping him in his own space. All he heard were the yells, the anger in his partners voice, and over all of it was the sound of his heart shattering from the daggers thrown by Ryan's words.

He sank down against the wall, hands coming up to his face, covering it in shame as he took all the yelling, he just sank lower and lower until he touched the ground, and by then he had no other choice than to listen to what Ryan was trying to say.

"It's unfortunate that god wasted a pretty face on someone as worthless and pathetic as you."

"Sometimes I wish you just killed yourself so I wouldn't have to deal with your boring ass personality everyday."

"You would be fucking nothing without me"

"I didn't love you. I pitied you."

Brendon couldn't sob, couldn't breath, move. He couldn't do anything. He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them, as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. White noise was Ryan roaring at him. He buried his head deeper into his knees and waited for it to all be over.

What he heard clearly was the door slam shut, and his sobs echoing throughout the studio.

AN:

Wasn't what I expected but hey why not.

Well that was one hell of a journey.

It's done.

I'm kinda emotional

(But when am I not I mean like)

This was supposed to be a one shot I wrote over the summer but I guess things don't always work out the way you plan.

IM WRITING ANOTHER RYDEN FIC AFTER IM DONE WITH MY OTHER TWO STORIES SO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT YAY. MY WRITING WILL BE BETTER I PROMISE.

(Oh also check out my other stories pleaseeeee)

Wowza this is the last time I'm writing my outro thing on this story how emotional are you guys rn.

Probably not at all because like half of you don't really care but anyway.

Be safe, get some fresh air, try some new foods. Treat yourself. Do what you have to do to be happy because being sad isn't worth it.

*deep breaths and tears*

Be safe and keep yourself healthy and hydrated. It's important.

FALL OUT BYEEEEEEE

-S