I'm Philicity (Transgender Phanfic)

Shout at the Moon, It Might Answer You

A week. It's been a week since Dan was last seen. Guilt was eating at Philicity every waking moment, even in her dreams. She would dream of walking in Dans house and see him smiling all happy at her, but then when she goes to hug him he shuns her away. He says she's a boy and doesn't love her. She then cries and wakes up. That's how it was every night. She still loved him. Every fiber of her told her to go find him and tell him she's sorry. But then she remembers who started this. He told her he was done. It was all just one big cluster fluff inside her head. Phil walked down the halls to her biology class when she spotted Louise and Pj laughing about something in the corner. "Hey, whats going on?" Phil asked as she approached the duo. Louise seemed a bit uncomfortable when Phil appeared but she chose to ignore it as PJ began rambling about the new Pokemon Go app. "I already caught a Drowzee! But my friend Felix is always one step ahead of me." He complained while scrolling through his PokeDex. Phil sighed in boredom.

     "Lou, have you seen Dan by any chance? He hasn't been to school all week." She asked as she stared down at her shoes. Normally she would ask them not to mention Dan but here she is asking about him as if he was their friend yesterday. Louise Sighed. "No, I haven't. But I'm sure he's fine Phil. How about you come over after school? We can walk to my house and study." Louise suggested. Phil only nodded before rushing off to class. As she walked in to the poorly lit room with a stench of old gym socks she saw a boy sitting by the window with a bit of stubble. The seat next to him seemed open so being the curious Kathy she was, she sat next to him. "Hi, I'm Phil." She said, holding out her hand. She then took notice that her voice was a bit high so she tried to cover it up with a cough. He gave her a half smile but didn't say anything and went back to his book he had been reading previously. Phil noticed his reluctance to talk to her so she chose to pull out her books and read the lesson plan for the day. "I'm Felix.." He said. He seemed quiet at first but put his book down and turned to her. "Oh? Are you the Felix that's friends with PJ?" She questioned as she looked back on her previous conversation with PJ.

    "Uh, yeah. You're Phil? No offence but I thought you'd be a little.." Felix trailed away as he looked over Phil who was currently wearing a Pierce The Viel shirt with some black skinny jeans and converse. "Thought I'd what?" Phil questioned. She noticed Felix grow a little nervous around her. "He said you were a girl." Felix said, confusion clear in his voice. Phil felt her hands become sweaty at the words. She seemed to have a small shortness of breath. "I-I um.." Phil stammered. "It's okay..I won't say anything." Felix whispered as he put two and two together. Phil sighed in relief and nodded as the class began. She felt like she made a new friend.

    Around lunch that day Phil decided to try to get a hold of Dan and called him in private by the courtyard. "Dan, I don't know where you are or what you are doing but I'm worried. Please call me." She begged before hanging up. Every moment of that day was nothing but complete agony for Philicity. All she wanted was her Dan back but it felt as though he had really let go. But then she thinks back to the fight in the hall, or when he saw her with Louise and everything feels different. Feels unexplained. "Phil?" Louise called as she entered the courtyard. "You ready to go?" She asked. Phil nodded as the two left campus and made their way to Louise's. Louise mumbled on about how she has been saving money to buy new blending brushes and bronzer but Phil couldn't pay attention. All on her mind was Dan. His soft brown hair. His choclate eyes. The cute dimple he had when she made him smile. But then the images change and she sees the hurt eyes, the bloody face, the greasy hair, and a sad dimple.

    "Phil, are you even listening to me?" Lou questioned her friend with a knowing look as they skidded down the path that looked familiar to Phil, but it wasn't to Lou's house. "Sorry Lou, I just can't stop thinking about him." She trailed off into a whisper as her eyes gawked at her feet. "Phil..what happened that night?" Louise asked as she stopped in her tracks. "Don't give me the bullshit about how you just changed cause I don't buy it, okay?" She sternly said while her hands laid on her hips. Phil sighed, turning to her friend. "I..I don't know.." Phil stuttered as Louise grew impatient. "Phil, what did your dad say?" Louise asked, finally breaking down the wall seperating her from Phil. Phil just gaped at her. "H-How..did you.." She stuttered. "Dan told me.." Louise said softly. "He and I had a heart to hearts a few days ago..then He saw you and I and bolted." She explained. Phil didn't know what to think of this information. Dan said he didn't care so why would he tell her. "But he.." Phil began. "I know what he told you but he only did it because he cares too much about you Phil. He couldn't stand the idea of you leaving your family for him. It broke him." Louise told her. All this time Phil felt anger and sadness, when really she needed to look at the facts. Dan still cared about her and here she was loafing around like a hurt puppy.