Forsaken (Book 3 of the Zara's Wolf Trilogy) BWWM - ON HOLD

16. Isolation

I don't want to get hurt or to have Ryan hurt anyone else. I can't physically beat him. That's a given.

The smart thing to do is co-operate, and look for a weak spot. It's too late to convince him to trust me, and fighting back may only result in me getting hurt, or the others getting hurt at my expense. I can't protect anyone if I'm hurt, and I can't find a way to save anyone if I'm incapacitated either.

So, I do as Ryan commands without question.

Seeing as I'm the one he's wanted from Kairo, he locks me in a room upstairs away from the others, ties me up to a chair, and gags me. The gag absorbs moisture, and since I haven't had anything to drink in hours, I suck on the moisture that builds up from my hot breath.

Hours tick by, but no one comes to bring me food or water. My stomach twists with hunger.

Isolation toys with your mind and scenes from my life play like a series of videos on repeat.

I think about my parents. About Evan. Our pack. His family. Kairo and my half-siblings.

Ben.

Alone in that room, no one can see me cry, and I'm glad because I can't stop the tears from falling.

I cry for everyone I've known and may never see again. I cry for Alicia, and the life she will never get to give if Ryan has his way. For Evan, and the life we will never get to share together. For my parents, who raised me and loved me regardless of what I was. For Ben, who was taken so young and I never got the chance to know.

Most of all, I cry for myself and my complete and utter sense of powerlessness and inability to fix this or help anyone around me. I failed not only them, but myself as well.

I don't know what to do. I don't...

I try to call forth my wolf, to shift, but still can't.

How much longer will it take for the wolfsbane to completely leave my body?

Time moves slowly. I watch the shadows travel across the room from the shifting of the sunlight from the window. It's getting darker outside as the sun sets behind the trees around the property.

My body is spent. Dehydration sets in from crying so much and not being able to replenish my fluids. Anxiety eats away at my gut and twice my stomach heaves, but nothing comes up.

Hanging my head, I close my eyes and will myself to relax and focus, but I'm so tired. So tired.

My mind flits to Evan and those warm golden eyes that never strayed from me. I remember when we first met, that rainy night in the forest with thunder clapping and lightening flickering through the treetops. The way he stared at me in the rain, calmly assessing me and my reactions to him. How cautiously he crept toward me, trying to ease my fears enough to convince me to follow him to shelter.

A smile tugs on my lips as I remember the quills in his muzzle, and how pathetic he looked. How patient he was as I pulled each one out despite the pain it must have caused him.

How he guided me through the woods to the cabin and fetched me food to eat.

I remember the rabbit he tossed at me in the cabin.

I laugh in silence to myself about it now. How utterly disgusted and grossed out I was, and yet, it remains to be one of my favorite memories together. I learned of his playfulness and sense of humor that day, but also that he wanted to provide for me and take care of me like a mate should.

The memories fill my heart with a different sort of pain.

Bittersweet.

I cling to those memories. Treasure them, and never let them go. They can never be taken from me. No amount of pain or torture inflicted upon me can steal those memories from me. They will always be mine; a secret to carry within my heart until I breathe my last breath.

I want to see you again. Even if only for a second...

When the door opens, I don't even lift my head. I know who it is without having to look. I don't want him to see me like this—this weak, pathetic mess.

And yet, the memories of Evan give me the faintest strength within me to not give up. The fight bubbles and swells up in my throat.

He walks slowly across the room, the carpet muting his footsteps like a ghost before he stops in front of me. He waits.

He's barefoot, his toe nails long and uncut with dirt permanently embedded under the nailbeds.

"Look at me," he commands.

My teeth clench down on the gag, but I refuse to raise my head.

He huffs before dumping a glass of water over my head.

As the water trickles down my face, neck and shoulders, I squeeze my eyes shut and dig my nails into my palms behind my back. Still, I refuse to acknowledge him.

His hand reaches behind my head and yanks on my dreads, forcing me to raise my head.

I meet Ryan's hard glare with my own.

There's a fleck of blood on his left temple. Was that there before I was separated from the others, or after?

"It's your fault the pup was killed," he says.

I growl in response, unable to voice what I really think about him. The only thing I'm guilty of is not being strong enough to protect Ben and the others. If he thinks I'm going to accept the blame for Burk killing Ben, he is sorely mistaken.

"I only wanted you, not them," he continues. "In order to get you though, I had to drag the whole lot in with you."

I tune his words out then as I focus on his eyes.

I won't submit. I won't listen to the poison he tries to inject into my mind.

I won't be weak. I won't give him that satisfaction.

His mouth keeps moving, his words muted to my ears. He cocks his head to the side, his eyes flick away a split second before returning to mine and scanning over my face. He steps back and regards me as he closes his mouth in a firm line.

My eyes never once leave his.

They narrow at me now.

"Fuck Kairo," he says.

Marching forward, he grabs my chin in his hand. He's rough and I feel my flesh bruising under his firm grasp. The look in his eyes fills me with cold dread now and my skin ripples in goosebumps. Still, I refuse to look away.

"I'll make sure he never finds out about you and the others," he whispers.

The gag in my mouth tastes foul with the words I want to spit in his face, but can't. They fill my head as I bite them back.

He leans in closer, and I stiffen as his lips nearly graze my ear.

"Casualties of war," he breathes. "Such a tragedy."

A howl in the distance catches his attention. Tensing, he listens for a moment at the short high-pitched tone. Swearing under his breath, he grins at me with sinister intent as he releases my chin and steps back.

"It begins."