anima • wardell au

anima.

"A dream, you say?" Doctor Jenkins asks.

Wardell fiddles with the linen of his shirt. "Y-Yeah. A very vivid one."

Doctor Jenkins lowers his glasses. "When did this occur?"

He blinks repeatedly, taking in the memory of the mysterious woman. "It was the night my mom put me to sleep and I, uh, I didn't take my...meds. I was crying about how I can't seem to recover my memories. The dream just seemed to continue where it left off."

"And then this certain girl just appeared," the doctor says in confirmation, "named Stef."

"What does it mean?" Wardell asks in utter confusion. "Why did she show up in my dream like that? Do I know her?"

"Based from the accounts of this dream, I'm quite certain that she is your anima."

He furrows his brows at the unfamiliar word. "Anima?"

"She is you, Stephen." Doctor Jenkins offers a knowing smile. "In Jung's Psychology, she is the personification of all feminine psychological tendencies of your male personality."

Wardell's mind is in doubles. He has never heard of such thing before. "I don't really understand."

"Part of what you suffered after accident was losing your sense of sexuality as a man. Either you call it depression or a particular loss of soul. You fear that you could not find it and you were desperate," the doctor explains. "That motivation hence opened a door for the female psyche to manipulate your mind in the form of dreams."

A female version of myself, he thinks. He can't believe it.

"How about we break down your dreams and interpret it?" Doctor Jenkins offers to which Wardell immediately agrees. "First, the red lighter. What does a lighter ignite?"

"Fire," he answers.

"Fire, which your anima uses a mark embedded on your soul. A tattoo; something that is inked permanently. The tattoo appears to be inked at your back because you can't see it but it's there. Fire represents you in so many ways, Stephen. You just have to realize why. It maybe in your personality or your thoughts."

He remembers her telling him power, lust, control, passion—all of which shows the dominance of his masculinity. It's every thing that Wardell lost after the accident and Stef means to tell him that it's embedded in his soul and that he just needs to 'find it'.

"And then the next one; sex. The concept of soul-less sex became an aid to achieving your personal wholeness and harmony."

Wardell leans back, feeling a little at ease. It's starting to make sense now.

"She's your deepest, darkest soul," Doctor Jenkins adds, "She has the personality that you possess but is exclusive to your knowledge only."

"Yeah, I mean. She keeps saying she wanted to help me." He gulps, rocking his leg unstably.

The doctor then nods and smiles. "And she did. Her appearance in your dreams caused a good outcome. She has lifted your masculinity out of its dark imprisonment. That explains why you shot yourself in your dream—you killed the Stephen whose sexuality was missing."

To think about it, yes. Stef did help him. He's finally recalling memories gradually. He remembers playing basketball or being engaged with Ayesha. He has a long way to go to remember the entirety of his lost memories, but at least he has found a new sense of confidence. All thanks to Stef.

"Is there," Wardell hesitates. "Is there any possible way I could see her again?"

"I'm afraid not." The doctor purses his lips. "But she's always there, Stephen. She's you. She never really left."

He feels more than reassured knowing that. That cryptic dream may have scared him. Stef may have confused him in so many aspects. But if there's one thing Wardell wants, that is to see her again and thank her for what she has done.

Because now that he has life back, he's ready to start anew and be the Wardell Stephen Curry II that everyone around him knew.

For a moment, he closes his eyes then he sees an image of Stef. Instead of smirking like she usually does, she's smiling and she seems genuinely happy and contented.

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an·i·ma\ˈa-nə-mə\
noun
: an inner feminine part of the male personality
: the part of the psyche that is directed inward, and is in touch with the subconscious
also : mind, soul

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aand that's it! thanks so much for reading this short story. i hope i managed to blow your mind as i planned lol :) but thanks for all the votes & comments!