I Have a Pet Named Peeved

John Doe and Jane Doe

Characters....the very foundation of a story. Without them, there is no story right?

Now, I love my characters, I love learning about them as I write. I love other writer's characters too. I love learning more and more about them as I read.

Yet...some characters....

WHAT DA FUCK YOU TALKIN' BOUT?!?!

I know several gay men....and they are not so freaking feminine they might as well have a vagina.

Now yes, there are some men like that, but a vast majority love being a guy and love being able to love other guys. If that makes sense. Being gay doesn't mean they don't have the usual thoughts that straight guys have, it just means that they like guys.

Now, I'm straight and I'm not a man, so I don't claim to know everything about the LGBT (I think I got that right) community or guys in general. Yet I have enough common sense to know that not every gay man on the planet is utterly feminine and think utterly feminine thoughts. What some refer to as "flaming" or "flamboyant" if that helps.

Thoughts that might include :"Omg, my crush is soooo utterly hot. His eyes are like fire, and he has a rockin bod."

OR something like this:

"OMG, girl that outfit don't match at all. Here, take these shoes and this belt. Oh, work it girl you got it now."

Not every gay guy is fashion oriented or their body is led by the head below the belt. If you're going to write a boyxboy, go ahead, I encourage it. But make sure that your guys aren't extremists because there are WAY TOO MANY like that. It gets so annoying when I'm reading about a guy who's supposedly "normal"...

Then BAM!

They sound like a 13 year girl fawning over Justin Beiber. It's obvious you don't know gays as well you think you do, or you just don't know guys. I mean COME ON people.

It's like all I read about are the "flaming" gays...or the ones with "flaming" gay thoughts. What about the more sedate gays? The ones that you wouldn't expect to be gay because they don't act the stereotypical "gay guy"? It pisses me off because I know a guy that's gay, and yeah once you get to know him it's obvious, but he's just a well dressed normal guy if you're on the outside looking in and don't know him.

And if you're stuck on characters personalities, I'm sure that there are several boyxboy writers that will be willing to help you out.

***Not ranting about lesbians because, well I just don't read that stuff, so don't bug me with things like "what about the girls?" lol***

Now that I have that off my chest...on to the next thing.

Jane Doe and John Doe.

OMG, I can't stand it when I'm reading and all of a sudden, they're telling me that they're not normal, they're crazy and unpredictable and all this other crap.

Don't freakin' tell me! You just made them predictable by saying that. If you want your characters to be crazy and unpredictable, it should be in their actions and words, NOT in the description of themselves.

Also, I can't stand when a character is describing themselves and they're ego-centric. You're not 4; not everyone sees exactly what you see.

Example:

I'm 5' 4" and I have light brown hair that hangs to the middle of my back. My lips are a full lucisious pink. My eyes are a gorgeous shade of dark green. I have small delicate hands and feet and men just drool all over me. I know I'm hot...blah blah blah

Maybe someone else thinks that your lips are too big? What if they say your hands are all knuckles and unattractive? Jeez, self centered much??

Have another character describe them using noncommittal adjectives.

Example:

Sasha walked by me, her full pink lips twisted in a grimace. Her light brown hair, which cascaded in waves to the middle of her back was slightly frizzed, like her agitation had come alive. Her hands, half the size of mine, were gripping the straps of her backpack tightly.

Wow, what a difference. Not only was I able to describe my figurative "Jane Doe" but it could have been said by a male, a female, someone who's interested or someone who's not. No one likes a character that's so into themselves that they can describe themselves like that.

It's effing annoying.

The bimbos and the blondes....THEY ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS TO EACH OTHER. I happen to know several brunettes that make me question the myth of the ditzy blonde.

And every ditzy blonde I've met?

They are chemical blondes....(they die their hair)

Now, I know I'm being repetitive with this idea because I will acknowledge that this has been in several rants BUT....

I am a natural blonde, and yes I have my moments, however everyone does. It's not just centered ONLY on blondes.

I hate it when a brunette does something ditsy and it's funny. Then I do something ditzy, and suddenly their excuses are "Oh it's okay, she's a blonde."

I mean WTF???

I'm in all honors classes, I'm a straight A student, I'm an athlete, a photographer, and an avid reader and writer. There is no way that you can tell me that all blondes are ditsy or they're mean crazy bitches.  

MIX UP YOUR CHARACTERS!

Well, that's all I can think about for now....until next time :)