flowers and ink » yoonmin

thirty three.

A week or so passed since Yoongi's breakdown, and Jimin could tell that he was trying to stay positive, trying to focus on the good. Jimin loved him for that.

Jimin got another phone call from Jin, telling him all about the wedding that was to take place in a month. Yoongi looked vaguely surprised to hear about it, and he accepted Jimin's offer of being his date for the event.

The weeks seemed to fly by, but they passed strangely for Jimin. They weren't marked in days; rather, they were marked in the way Yoongi's heart beat erratically after something shattered silence. They were marked in the expression that fell over his face afterward; the heartrendingly agonized look that told Jimin he was trying. Watching and helping Yoongi fight through the way his mind had bent did something strange to Jimin; it made his heartbeat stronger and his mind sharper. Somehow, he had moved away from the terrified, helpless high school boy he once was.

He knew that it was all thanks to Yoongi.

Jin and Namjoon's marriage came and went. Yoongi looked happy and amazed throughout the whole thing. They held hands during the ceremony and hoped no one would notice. After the wedding, Jimin kept looking at the silver band on middle finger, wondering if Yoongi would ever want to trade it for a ring that meant something more.

Every time he thought that, he pushed it aside; burying it deep. He didn't want to think of what would happen if he got rejected. Besides, it was far too soon in their relationship to be thinking things like that, anyway.

~~~

One Sunday evening found Jimin and Yoongi sitting across a table from Jungkook and Taehyung in a fancy little restaurant. As Jungkook and Taehyung giggled and kissed, Yoongi made it clear that he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Why did you agree to this?" He hissed as the couple giddily rested their foreheads together.

"I thought they would have changed since the last double date," Jimin muttered back as Jungkook pecked Taehyung's lips. Their food arrived and Yoongi whispered to Jimin, "Here's the plan. We're gonna be more lovey-dovey than them."

"Yoongi no, that's impossible," Jimin said back, mildly horrified by the idea. Across the table, Taehyung fed Jungkook from his plate.

"I suppose you're right," Yoongi admitted, then attempted to block out the couple by eating. It didn't work; Taehyung and Jungkook were in love in the most obnoxious way, and the two couples became immersed in their own separate conversations. After they ate, Jungkook offered to go somewhere else with them, a "second installment" to their dinner, but Yoongi politely refused.

"I don't understand how people can be that gross," Yoongi said as they got into Jimin's car.

"I know," Jimin said, shaking his head. They spent the whole drive home ridiculing the other couple, all in good nature.

That night was one of the first nights since the breakdown that Yoongi slept in his own apartment. Jimin's bed felt too big and lonely without Yoongi by his side, and he couldn't fall asleep. By eleven, he had given up and was mindlessly switching between Twitter and Instagram when he heard the piano.

He knew it was Yoongi, so he got out of bed and walked down to the shop. The door was ajar, and, as expected, Yoongi sat at the piano bench. Jimin would never get tired of the way of the fairy lights glowed as the mint-haired boy he had fallen in love with played melodies he didn't recognize.

"Yoongi," he said softly from the door. Yoongi's fingers hesitated on the keys, so Jimin said his name again; like a prayer, or a promise. Yoongi turned around.

"Jimin?" His voice cracked.

"Come on, let's sleep," Jimin said gently. Yoongi turned off the fairy lights and stumbled to Jimin's side. He took Jimin's hand as if he were coming home, so Jimin led them back to his apartment and they got into bed.

"I knew it," Yoongi mumbled. He lay on his back, and Jimin snuggled into his side.

"Knew what?"

"That I'm in love with you, and thinking of a future without you kinda sucks," he replied, voice slurred with repressed sleep. Jimin's heart fluttered a tiny bit.

"When did you decide that?" Jimin asked.

"I didn't decide," Yoongi laughed a little bit, quietly. "I know now that you don't get a decision in- in love. But I figured, if I could, if I could fall asleep in my own bed tonight, without you, I was still falling." He trailed off, then said with purpose, "Because I was already falling in love with you, you know? But I figured that if I couldn't fall asleep, then I was completely in love. No more falling, no more giving away my heart. You already have it all."

"And you have mine," Jimin replied.

"I'm completely in love with you. And I didn't think this would ever happen, that I was capable, but I am and it's only because of you."

"I didn't think I'd be capable, either," Jimin said hesitantly. Their voices were small in the dark, and Jimin imagined that their words painted constellations on his ceiling.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah."

"If I hadn't met you, I'd be an entirely different person. I'd still be bitter and afraid and I'd still be content to let it destroy me. I was heading for disaster, and I watched it happening like my mind was an outsider, looking on as a train that held my body flipped off the tracks. And I couldn't even find it in myself to care. But then you came, and you cared for me, and the train slowed down and I'm not making sense, but the train slowed down and allowed my mind to settle back in to my body."

There was a quiet pause in which Jimin laid his head on Yoongi's chest, listening to the other boy's regular heartbeat.

"You are making sense," Jimin said assuredly. "Or at least, I understand."

"Jimin?"

"Yoongi?"

"We're young, right?"

"Right." Jimin wasn't sure where Yoongi was going with this.

"And people say young love never lasts, but that's because they're crusty and old and loved someone they couldn't be with."

"Uh huh."

"And I want our love to last."

"I do too," Jimin said softly.

"And I want you to know that a future with you is something that I think I want, and I'm not sure if you do-"

"I do. I can only think of a future with you."

Yoongi blew air out of his mouth like he'd been holding his breath.

"You're stupid," Jimin said, nuzzling his face into Yoongi's chest, "for thinking that I didn't want a future with you."

"I know," Yoongi said, a smile curling the words as they left his mouth. "I know."

i just really wanted to update ok. i had this whole 1000+ word namjin wedding written before realizing that weddings are different in korea and i don't think same-sex marriages are legal there, but this is fiction so yes namjin is now happily married. also, mostly i just hated what i had written anyway so yes a double date with vkook and an emotional scene bc i gotta have my chapters 1000+ words