flowers and ink » yoonmin

thirty four.

Jimin was in his old high school. The boys' bathroom on the second floor, to be exact. It was a place where he thought he was safe, but as the door crashed open, he knew he'd never be safe. The three people who had tormented him endlessly throughout high school stepped into the bathroom, jeering and laughing. Jimin pulled his legs up so he was crouching on the toilet in the last stall. His entire body shook, and he held his breath.

"Where's the fag?" He heard the leader taunt. He was reluctant to assign the bullies their names, because names were for people, not monsters.

"He's hiding. And I love hide and seek," the second said. Jimin closed his eyes and prayed to every god he could think of that they would just leave.

But evidently, the gods were dead, because a banging on his stall door made him flinch.

"Jiminie," the leader sang. "My precious Jiminie, I'll love you forever if you just come out. We all know that you want to be loved, but who could love you? You're a fag, and no one loves a fag." Tears escaped Jimin's closed eyelids and his fingers clenched the plastic of the toilet seat.

"Least of all us," the third bully chimed in. The door shook as one of them hit it again.

"We'll wait for as long as we have to," one of them crowed. Jimin choked on a sob. Why was he such a target?

Because he didn't put up a fight.

The boys hammered on the door until the lock broke, destroying Jimin's last foolish hope. The leader was standing in front of him, his two friends arrayed behind him. They all smiled cruelly and Jimin just continued to pray, even though he knew nothing would save him. The leader stepped forward and grabbed Jimin's shoulders, making him flinch. He was pushed to the floor, and his eyesight pulsed as his head cracked against the tiles. Jimin groaned in pain while the bullies laughed above him.

"Look, the fag doesn't even resist!" One said. He aimed a kick at Jimin's stomach, and the helpless boy cried out.

"How many times will we meet? How many times do we have to do this?" The leader growled, kneeling down and pulling Jimin's head up by his hair. Tears sprang to his eyes as he was forced to look at his worst fear. "No one will love you," the boy continued to say slowly, making sure each word hit its mark. He slammed Jimin's head back into the floor, and Jimin felt sick with pain. The room began to spin as his head pounded. The leader stood up, and suddenly blows were coming from everywhere; hitting his back, his stomach, his legs, his head. He just curled into a ball and sobbed, waiting for the pain to be over.

"You're disgusting."

"Worthless."

"We'll keep doing this, until you either realize that you're sick and give up on finding love, or you kill yourself. Because we will."

And in his haze of pain, Jimin believed them. Someone landed a kick right to his nose, and he felt woozy as he heard a crunch. He opened his eyes and saw his bright blood on the white tiles. The room tilted and he began to feel floaty, like he was leaving his body. The pain encompassed him like a burial shroud, and he started to lose consciousness. His eyes stayed open, as if all his muscles were so overloaded with pain that they had frozen. The leader crouched down, invading Jimin's line of sight. Jimin braced himself for more verbal abuse, but instead, the leader said, "Jimin. Jimin, Park Jimin!" Except it wasn't his voice; although the words came out of his mouth. It sounded like Min Yoongi.

Jimin jolted awake, and for a second, he felt the pain from his dream everywhere before regaining his senses.

"Oh thank God," Yoongi said as Jimin sat up in bed and looked around. The air lay cool against his cheeks, and he brought his fingers up and found that the skin was wet.

He had been crying.

"You were having a nightmare," Yoongi said. Jimin looked at him, observing the way his mint green hair stood up, sunlight from the bedroom window dancing through it. He saw the way sleep had swelled his eyes, and he saw the way concern decorated his face in the furrow of his eyebrow and twist of his mouth.

Jimin let out a sob and lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Yoongi as if he were afraid Yoongi was just a dream as well; one that would dissipate as the details from his nightmare ran through his head. He buried his face in Yoongi's chest, and the other boy's tattooed arms circled his shaking body.

"Jimin, you're okay, it was just a dream," Yoongi murmured. "You're gonna be alright."

"Are you sure you love me?" Jimin gasped out. Yoongi pushed the smaller boy away so he could frown at him. Jimin stared at the tip of Yoongi's nose, avoiding eye contact, and remembered the crunch his own nose had made in the dream.

"Of course I love you. Nothing will change that," Yoongi said, eyes wide and earnest. "What was the nightmare?"

Jimin hesitated, playing with the sheets. Silence danced in the air like the dust in the beams from the window.

"It was a memory," Jimin said, looking at his hands. Yoongi covered them with his own. "It was a memory of the time I lost faith in the world and love." Jimin paused and took a shuddering breath. "It was the worst physical pain I had ever felt, and I think the worst mental pain, too. I was getting beat up, like I did almost every day." Jimin laughed bitterly, and Yoongi's hands tightened on his own. "They said the usual things, that I was disgusting and a fag and would never be loved. And like I told you before, they said it so much that I finally broke and I finally believed them. And of course I had to dream about that." Jimin finished angrily.

"They can't hurt you anymore, Jimin," Yoongi said softly. Jimin yanked his hands back and folded his arms across his chest. Yoongi looked a little lost.

"I-I know that. Why did I have to dream that? I was doing so well, I was- I was happy. And they still ruined it."

"You know what I think? I don't think that they ruined it. I think you're letting them ruin it. And you know what? Park Jimin, you are stronger than that," Yoongi said firmly. "You have become such a strong person. You hold the decision; let them continue to haunt you, or let them go and know that you are deserving of love and happiness. You have all my love, so please, allow yourself to accept it," Yoongi begged.

"I know you're right. But I thought, for years, that I had moved on. I guess I was still afraid. But I think I'm done. I think from the moment I really met you, I was done. I just had to fully let go, fully realize that they can't hurt me anymore, and they were wrong. The thing with lies is that if you hear them enough, they sound like the truth." Jimin looked intently at Yoongi. "But the truth is, I did find happiness."

"I love you, Park Jimin. Never forget that, okay?" Yoongi leaned forward and hugged Jimin again. "Never forget that."

"I won't," Jimin whispered back.

~~~

Jimin felt liberated. He and Yoongi were giggling like little boys because they had just climbed their cherry tree in the park. Yoongi sat above him, farther out on a branch, while Jimin clung to the trunk.

"Why did we do this?" Jimin asked, light words carried upward on a gentle breeze.

"Because love empowers all," Yoongi said back with a sarcastic air, like he was quoting a silly commercial. Jimin snorted and started to climb down.

"Love doesn't empower me enough to believe in my own safety," he called as he dropped to the ground. Yoongi looked down on him.

"Stop being such a crusty old man!" Yoongi yelled, but he climbed down as well. Jimin leaned into his side and looked up at the branches of their tree. He wondered what would happen if it ever got cut down.

They'd probably sneak in and plant a new tree.

He smiled and Yoongi wrapped an arm around him. He had come to the park a million times since opening the flower shop, but until he had met Yoongi, the tree held no interest to him. And as he stared at its branches and reveled in the safety he felt in Yoongi's embrace, he realized that his life had been much like the tree.

Until Yoongi came around, he hadn't been able to notice the beauty all around him.

nICE LAST CHAPTER UNTIL THE EPILOGUE RIP EVERYONE