Dreaming of Alten

Chapter 5. Alten

I'm standing in front of a raging ocean at sunset and Alten is nowhere to be seen. I can hear the waves rushing forward and feel the froth spray up on my arm as the waves break on the rocks near the shore.

I'm wearing a long blue halter-neck dress and sandals and my hair's rippling down my shoulders in perfect beachy waves that I could never maintain for more than five minutes in real life.

The sky's turning pinky-orange as the sun slowly sets. The ocean's all different shades of blue and I bend down to trail my hand in the water just to feel the refreshing coolness lapping through my fingers.

Where's Alten?

"Hey," his voice says behind me. "Sorry I'm late."

I straighten and turn, shaking the water off of my hand. Alten is a few yards down the beach, walking towards me. He's wearing dress pants with a rumpled shirt that has the top two buttons undone, and he's got his suit jacket slung over one shoulder like something out of a movie. His Porsche is parked behind him, some distance further on down the beach.

I wonder what brought on Alten's style change. I'm used to imagining him in jeans and leather jackets, but lately all he wears are well-tailored suits. Are my tastes changing? Or do I subconsciously believe that Porsche drivers need to dress more formally?

Alten loops his arm around my waist and kisses me in greeting. "Ash," he says, and the way his voice caresses my name sends shivers down my spine.

I lean back into the crook of his shoulder and ask, "Is everything okay?" I've never had to wait for him before. Usually my dreams start in the middle of the date, not the beginning. "And what happened last night?"

He lets go of his jacket and pulls me to him with both arms, holding me tightly, saying nothing for over a minute. I sense that he's desperately scared, and that scares me because Alten isn't supposed to be scared.

I don't know how long we stand there just holding each other, but finally we do break away, although Alten seems reluctant to make his arms let me go. "I think we should stop seeing each other for a while," he says, in a strained voice.

"What?" Whatever I expected him to say, it's not this. I feel like someone's just punched me in the stomach. "Are you breaking up with me?" I say, in disbelief. My fantasy boyfriend is breaking up with me?! I take a step back from Alten, staring at him as though he's a stranger.

Is this how Lily felt when she saw Jacob kissing Gemma in the cafeteria?

"No!" Alten says, and the quickness of his reply comforts me a little. "Ash, of course I'm not breaking up with you. I would never break up with you. I love you. But it's not safe here. I don't want you to get hurt."

What is he talking about?

"What do you mean, it's not safe? We're in my dreams!" Am I going insane, or am I actually having a conversation with my imaginary boyfriend about the dangers of meeting inside my mind?

He takes my hand and tucks a loose lock of hair behind my ear. Even under the circumstances, I can't help but feel good that he can't seem to stop himself touching me for more than a second. "It's complicated, but you need to stay away, okay? Just for a few days."

How do I stop myself from dreaming? Is he expecting me to stay awake for the next few days?

"Why can't you just tell me what's going on?" I ask, frustrated.

"I don't—" he begins, and then his face changes. His hand tightens on mine, and he starts running up the beach, away from the water, dragging me along with him.