The Girl With Tattoos • Original Version

The Girl With Tattoos (23)

Me and Bann sat underneath that umbrella as the boys had fun gargling salt water. I could feel his gaze every now and then, like he had something to say but couldn't get it out. My curiosity was reaching its limit and I just wanted to explode in a fit of questions. He's been acting strange ever since yesterday at the restaurant, and even more so now. He hasn't said much, more speaking with his eyes which were always glancing down toward my arm near the elbow. I felt self conscious not because of my low self esteem, but because every time Bann thinks I won't notice, he stares at the same spot until I move my head. It gets me thinking, you know? He always has this look on his face that I can't explain. Like a blank stare yet there's something behind it; I just can't figure it out.

"Gracie," Bann cut cleanly through my thoughts, my mind wandering in places it probably shouldn't be. "It's been eating me up inside for almost a day now." I broke the mean staring contest me and the ocean were having and directed all my attention towards Bann. Nodding at him, I fixed my position into something more comfortable, watching his blue eyes have a quick glance at my arm again. 

"Okay well, I don't know how to make this seem less nosy than it sounds but why did you just randomly leave yesterday during dinner?" My eyes connected with his and I watched his hand grab my thigh through my peripheral vision. The tingling shot up my leg and into my stomach, waking up the resting butterfly's. "Was it because of my parents arguing? Cause if so, it's completely normal. I mean, they're practically not even married since they fight more than they say I love you." The guilt clogged my throat as I nodded my head, thinking that was the only reasonable excuse to just get up and leave with no warning what so ever.

He sighed and looked downward in disappointment, his hand traveling up and wrapping around my elbow; the same one he keeps looking at. 

Wait, what if he's sweaty? Will it rub off the makeup? Shit. Yanking my arm will only make it worse and better yet, make me come off as even ruder.

"Hey look, I'm sorry. If I knew all they would do was argue over pointless shit, I wouldn't have invited you and save you from that. I guess I just wanted someone to come with me. I don't know. I just feel really guilty." His gaze was stuck on the sand particles littering the towel underneath us. His eyebrows were stuck together and grip slowly loosening. 

What's going on?

"I guess I'm just trying to say sorry? Mom just really wanted to eat dinner with you because she didn't trust you enough since, you know, you rarely follow the rules at school. I'm surprised you haven't been banned from entering the house or even expelled." He never looked up from the ground until he finished his sentence, observing my face. He paused to take a long sigh, his eyes flickering everywhere along my features. "I'm sorry."

Swallowing, I threw a message written on my phone at him. He quickly read it and covered his face inside his abnormally large hands. His hair was messed up, sticking up in every direction.

"I don't know G! I'm just.. sorry. I don't want to be the reason you didn't even want to be at the same table as us." He mumbled it all into his palms, making me reach over and remove one of his hands, just to let him engulf my tiny ones into his. With my free arm, I typed another message slowly and deliberately, placing the phone softly on his legs. 

'But you're not the reason. Your parents are.'

"But in some way I just feel guilty, okay? I asked you to go, I'm basically the reason all this shit happened." 

I didn't know how to respond. I mean, it isn't his fault. It was fucking Milo. My mind was overloaded with too many facts, like it could just pop with one more thing spoken. Bann sat silently, squeezing my hand and smothering his nose with his other.

"I have another question."

I looked at him quickly, my lips becoming non-existent as I sucked them inside my mouth.

"Is that dirt on your elbow? Because if not, I don't know how you wrote on yourself all the way over there."

My face fell as all my fears became a reality in just a heartbeat and all I could think was one thing.

My fucking tattoos are showing.