Hold Me Close And Don't Let Go

The Sorrow

Y/N's POV

I woke up earlier than I usually do. I walked to the bathroom and looked at my makeup stained face. I didn't know how I spent the entire day yesterday smiling. Of course Joe was there to distract me but I could tell he too was wondering about my breakdown in the car earlier.

I couldn't tell him what happened. I knew he wouldn't take it easy and it would only distract him from his work, that is more important now. I don't want him to know.

I quickly rinsed of the remnants of makeup off my face and took a quick shower. I tried to look at cheerful as I could but I knew Joe wasn't falling for it and the question would rise up sometime or another.

Fortunately I had to work in the studio all morning and Joe too had some videos to film. This meant I didn't have to face him for the time being.

After working for 5 hours straight and trying to keep myself as busy as I could, I was exhausted. I wasn't ready to face my emotions and decided to go through my social media to keep my mind engrossed into something.

That's when I saw it.

A photo of Mark. It wasn't him that caught my attention, it was the girl beside him. She was an old friend of Mark's but the caption suggested otherwise. It said "I love you baby <3 Be mine forever yeah?"

I couldn't believe this. What just happened? This wasn't what was supposed to happen, this wasn't what he had said had happened. I opened the text by Mark from the previous morning.

Hey babe J I hope u r doing well there. I didn't want to say it face to face or even talk about it so I am texting this to you. I feel like we have had a wonderful time together and I appreciate every single day with you. But the thing is- with you flying from one country to another and me busy with work, I don't feel this thing between us is working out. Don't get me wrong, I love you, I really do but I guess we were not meant to be and have drifted apart over the past few months. I hope you understand.

My hands trembled as I read the text and my vision gradually got blurry as tears swelled up my eyes. This was what he meant by work? It wasn't us that didn't work, it was him. I hated him for this and started cursing him and crying loudly.

As the only one left in the studio there was no one present. I cried until my heart's content and then silently packed my stuff and headed over to Joe's.

Opening the door to the apartment I wished he wasn't there so that I could go into my room, crawl into bed and silently cry the rest of the day.

But he was there. He was filming and as soon as he heard me walk in, he stopped filming and walked over to me.

"Hey Y/N"

"Hey"

"Umm how did your day go?" he asked and I could vividly sense that he knew something was wrong.

"Yeah it was fine. How about you?" I said trying to act as happy as I could.

"Yeah its going well I guess," he said and then added, "Do you wanna go out and get some lunch?"

"No I already ate at the studio," I said and then hesitantly added, "Listen I am just going to lay down for a while, I've had a long day. We can go out for dinner later?"

"Yeah sure go ahead," he said with a half-hearted smile.

I walked as quickly as I could to my room and shut the door before Joe could see me crying. The tears streamed down my face and I couldn't help it. Even if Mark and I had dated for a year or so, I felt like we had a connection. I had fallen for him badly and now I felt like nothing in the world could ever get me to be the same.

I lay in the bed sobbing and remeniscing our time together and didn't realize when I had fallen asleep.

I woke up and looked at my phone. It was already 8 p.m. I had slept in longer than I wanted. I got up and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. Joe was nowhere to be seen and I figured he was in his room.

I went to his room and knocked on the door. "Come in," he said and I opened the door.

"Hey! How was your sleep?"

"Fine I guess, slept in longer than I should have."

"Nah, its fine. It's needed sometimes."

"Yeah. What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, just editing a vlog."

"Oh okay. Can I sit and watch?" I didn't know why I said that but I felt like I just wanted to talk with someone rather than mourn alone.

"Yeah you don't have to ask," he said and brought a chair and placed it beside his for me to sit in.

We conversed for a while just like old times but I knew it was not the same. Me, still not over this whole situation and him, curious as to what had happened.

Joe's POV:

I knew something was bothering Y/N. She seemed so odd when she came back from the studio. She was never this sad. Although she was trying to hide her emotions she knew it wouldn't go past me not noticed.

It took all of me not to ask her about it because I didn't want her to have another breakdown. But as we were sitting in my room talking just like old times I couldn't help but notice the change of her tone and how she was forcing herself to smile.

At last I couldn't take no more.

"What happened Y/N? Please don't try to hide it, I know something's bothereing you. You can share it with me. I am here for you."

I didn't know if it was right to say this or not.

Her expression changed from enforcing a smile to nothing at all. She just looked at me and the next second she had tears in her eyes and I knew I shouldn't have asked.

"Y/N I am so sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I am sorry," I said while trying to console her by pulling her into a hug.

She cried in my arms while I caressed her hair and mumbled comforting words to her.

It wasn't like we didn't hug or touch each other. But this felt different. It made me feel a way I shouldn't have been feeling. I pushed the thought away and pulled her out of my arms and looked at her.

"It's okay, i just don't know how to tell this to you without crying like a baby," she said in between sobs.

"Hey it doesn't matter okay? You don't have to tell me if it makes you sad."

"No I do. It's just that...it's about Mark," she couldn't talk anymore but opened her phone and scrolled through something and showed me a text from Mark.

I read it, my expression changing from curiosity to shock to anger.

"And then this happened," she said as she opened her instagram and showed me a picture of Mark with some girl.

Reading the caption was the last straw. I felt my anger boiling.

"How could he do this to you! Wait I will see that son of a b*tch!"

I was ready to go wherever he was and give him a piece of me.

Y/N caught hold of my arm and said, "You don't have to Joe! Leave it please, he's not worth it."

I felt bad for Y/N. She always had trust issues growing up and this must have worsened that.

"Come here you," I said and pulled her into a hug.

We hugged for a while. She, crying silently and I, trying to control my anger and thinking of ways to help her cheer up and move on.

But something happened in that hug. Something irrevocable. I felt this tingling feeling within me that I couldn't describe. This never happened to me. It was somewhat like I didn't want to break the hug. I wanted to hold her forever. But that wasn't something bestfriends felt for each other. And she was my bestfriend, nothing much, nothing less. Right?

 Author's note: Next update will be coming in a few days.