"....I'm afraid that he is losing his way"Kanan said looking down "He uses emotions to fight and with them the Dark side. I just don't know what to do...when ever I try to talk to him he rejects me...I should know how to help him, I'm his master after all but..I...I'm a a loss"
The jedi was clearly consumed with worry, he truely lost all his confidence in being a good master to Ezra. A good guide..
But at that moment Hera hugged Kanan. The Jedi was suprised but returned the hug..he needed it after all.
"Kanan, you are the best master a padawan could have. Ezra knows that, and you both will push through this,I know it. Now get some rest, okay?"Hera said
"....Thank you Hera"Kanan answered, pulling away from the hug and softly smiling at Hera before heading to his cabin.
But The Maser wasn't going to pass his Padawan's cabin without talking to him.
WITH EZRA.....(location)
The raven haired boy was pacing around his cabin as he said in distress
"Ughhh, I could have ended Vader right there, but something HAD TO GO WRONG"Ezra said to himself
".....And I'm sure that Kanan will never forgive me after what I did"
FLASHBACK......
Kanan and Ezra were at the closed ramp
"Ezra,look at me"The Jedi said turning to the younger boy grabbing both his shoulders. But Ezra's gaze was to the side, not looking at Kanan.
"Ezra.Look.At.Me"Kanan said turning the boy's head untill their eyes met.
"What you did back there was very dangerous. You unleashed all of your anger on Vader. You wanted to kill him ! In the process you were using the dark side" Kanan said in a serious tone but Ezra just answered
"So?"
The Jedi was completely taken a back by the boy's response. This wasnt Ezra speaking...it couldnt be.
"Please listen to me.I know how it is to lose parents and the things Vader did were terrible. But you can't solve anything by getting rid of him. Nothing will bring back what's already happened...the only thing you will lose is yourself" Kanan said with a pleading voice, his mind being consumed by concern.
There was no answer from Ezra untill he broke out of Kanan's hold and started walking towards the ladder. Kanan was about to call out to the boy but then Ezra said completely emotionless
"Then let me lose myself"
END OF FLASHBACK.....
Ezra sighed as he said
"....I must be the worst padawan ever"
"Well indeed you are the the worst padawan ever"Again ''it'' came, the voice
"Leave ME ALONE ALREADY"Ezra snapped back
"We will meet again soon..hehe"The voice said and disappeared. Ezra stayed silent for a few moments untill he said
"....How can I even face Kanan and the crew...First it's my fault the things on malachor happened. And second I yelled at Kanan...I was so rude to him...to everyone. Why cant I just function like a normal person ??"
"..Kanan was right in my nightmare, I AM a Pathetic,Worthless Streetrat"
Anger was again building up as Ezra's voice started raising
"I will never forgive myself, I HATE MYSELF!!"Ezra yelled in distress, he couldnt take it anymore. These emotions were killing him..and yet why doesnt he ask for help ? The crew, Kanan, everyone would help him. Why was he like this ? Why couldnt he just..tell them.
WITH KANAN......(location)
"I HATE MYSELF!!"
Kanan heard Ezra yelling as he was about to knock on the door of the cabin. Kanan then opened the cabin door with the force. When he stepped in, Ezra was on the bottom bunk, he was just sitting there, close to the wall. Not reacting to Kanan's entry
The atmosphere was quiet, untill Kanan sighed, sitting down on the lower bunk next to the raven haired boy.
"...Ezra I don't want you to lose your way"Kanan said with a worried voice
"....I won't....I'm sorry..."Ezra said in quiet tone, but he was unsure of his own answer
"Its alright..just..talk to me when you need someone, I'm always here for you" Kanan said gently. Ezra felt himself feeling the negative emotions again, did Kanan just...forgive him ?
"K-Kanan..I just wanna be alone for a while.." Ezra said, he couldnt process his emotions.
The older man winced i but he nodded saying "I understand...just dont hide the fact you are hurting. We are all here for you" Kanan said before exiting the cabin "Rest up Padawan"
Before the door closed, cutting off the two Ezra said "Yeah...bye Master"
The door of the cabin closed, and Ezra was back to his thoughts...he wanted to shout for Kanan to come back, he wanted to tell his Master that he wasnt okay..but his body wasnt responding and his voice kept quiet.
"....How can he just forgive me like that?"Ezra suddenly asked himself
"....And I didn't even say Thank you..."
" I bet that he is just pretending to be nice to me.... I know that he hates me...I mean who wouldn't after what I've done..."
Hatered grew inside of Ezra but not towards anyone he knew and respected. That hatered was towards himself...
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Hope you enjoy !
Padawan girl out.
YOU ARE READING
The Path of a Grey Jedi
Fanfiction(CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN) After Kanan and Ezra returned from Malachor everything was different, especially Ezra. As the days pass Ezra Bridger is getting more and more closer to the Dark side. Kanan can't do anything to save his Padawan from hims...
