you know that moment when you breath is nonexistent. where your stomach is literally in your throat. where you're looking at something so beautiful, that you're afraid to touch it. like fire, and you know you'll be burned. or a butterfly and you know your hand will scare it away. and you're beyond afraid to speak up, because you know you'll ruin it all.
thats how she felt, holding sebastian hand that night. the movie was playing, he was talking about something, but her mind was hours behind him, stuck on a moment when chris was kissing her.
"sebastian." charlotte interrupted.
sebastian stared at her, taken aback from her suddenly sharp nature, "what, lottie?"
he was so tender and sweet, she couldnt survive it.
"i have to tell you something."
"anything." sebastian hand slinked around her waist, holding onto her, facing her straight on.
her mouth opened, words were supposed to be tumbling out, but they weren't.
"charlotte..." sebastian sounded very panicked, "whats the matter? what happened?"
"the night i went to visit chris, after he was all moody on set and stuff, something happened." she couldn't look into his eyes, "he....he uh...confessed his love for me."
sebastian chuckled, "thats it? i've known he's had a petty crush on you since day one."
"but then he kissed me."
silence.
so much silence.
she dared to peek up at him, and it was full of surprise and anger. his mouth twitched with words, but nothing came out.
after a long moment, a shaky breath, "the fucking prick."
"sebastian!"
"how dare he kiss you! thats so forward and rude, to kiss another mans girl!"
she stayed silent.
"i mean to just come onto you like that! of course you didnt kiss back! how stupid of him."
tears came on suddenly. charlotte couldn't hold them back.
sebastian stopped, "you kissed him back didnt you..."
"it all happened so fast, seb!"
"oh sure! thats what they all say! ever heard of no? ever heard of pushing him off you, of standing up and leaving? i'm not dumb, you wanted to kiss him!"
charlotte was wrecked, was heartbroken. every word was pointed and deadly.
"what am i doing here then? why did i kiss you today if thats what and who you wanted. spare me, charlotte adams," he paused, his face red and chest heaving, "is that who you want, charlie? chris? should i leave, should i not waste your time? just tell me! i don't want to waste your time loving you if you're not going to accept it!"
"sebastian!" charlotte was taken aback.
"what?! you made out with my closet friend, charlie! how do you want me to react?" he stood up pacing around, "i am...i am...so...hurt."
a sob ripped from her throat, her emotions unmade. she had hurt the man she loved.
"you know what you are?" sebastian spun around pointing a sharp finger at her, "you're water, you have so much sway over everything around you. you have enough power to give life, and enough power to drown it away."
and with those words, he turned away, flung open the door and was gone.
YOU ARE READING
the best by far was you - sebastian stan
Fanfictionshe started out as a walk-on. he was a star looking for someone to love. they were both painfully human, making heart-hurting mistakes. they knew that they loved each other, but was that enough? | o f a l l t h e t h i n g s m y h a n d s...
