Perfectly Ordinary // Shawn Mendes

idiotic choices

shawn

Sometimes you can just tell you're going to love someone just by looking at them for the first time.

After I played my first song, I saw her. She sat on this chair outside the café, her dainty hands holding a colorful book. She was watching me.

You know how in books and movies when certain things happen and the character says their heart skips a beat? That's what happened to me when my eyes met hers.

I didn't even notice the stupid smile that formed on my lips, or that she was coming my way.

The only thing I noticed is that she dropped an $100 bill into my old, beat up guitar case.

I thought of my father. His voice echoed in my ears.

"You and your stupid guitar will get you nowhere. You and your stupid guitar will not get us money, or food, or help your mother get better. You and your stupid guitar are useless. Grow up, Shawn."

I ran away the day he said that to me. I wanted to help provide for my family, but I couldn't do anything but play the guitar and sing a little. I sucked at trying to help my father with construction, and I always managed to find a way to screw things up. So I ran, and I found myself in a little town that a girl named Claudia Brooks lived.

After Claudia left, all I could think about was her. And that $100 bill.

There is something special about Claudia that I just can't describe no matter how hard I try. She has long, thick blonde hair and a perfect smile with a dimple on the right side. Her nose is small and her lips are a bubblegum pink. And her eyes are amazing; they look like the Caribbean Sea, but what makes them stand out is the dark rim against the blue-green color.

It may seem to other people that she's just a normal girl. But it felt like when I looked at her, she was meant for me. And that I was meant for her.

I sound like an idiot.

But anyways, because I am an idiot, I'm following her home. She has no idea.

The blue sky fades into a pinkish purple when the sun sets, and I'm still following her by the time the sky is completely black and the moon is the only visible light.

I could tell she is a bit nervous of walking in the dark. She keeps turning around, as if someone is following her. Maybe it's because someone is.

I'm an idiot.

I remind myself I can't think about Claudia. I need to think about that $100 bill.

If she was willing to give a random boy on the street an $100 bill, I can't imagine how many $100 bills she has at home. And how many her parents have.

We finally reach Claudia's house, which is an estate. She lives on an enormous plot of land in an enormous house, and I realize suddenly why she carelessly gave me $100.

I hide in the bushes when she walks inside the house. I still am holding my guitar, so I hide it in the bush too.

Shit. Now how am I gonna get into her house? I really don't think anything out.

I wait, thinking and staring at the house when I see a light go on in a window. Slowly, I sneak along the row of bushes until I reach the window and balcony that the light is coming from. I can see Claudia through the bushes, sitting on her bed and looking out the window.

Suddenly, she gets off the bed and walks towards the balcony. My heart speeds up.

She stands at the edge of the balcony, looking up at the sky. You can see almost all of the stars tonight, and it is truly beautiful. But I can't keep my eyes off of her.

I realize she's humming my song. The one I sang on the street. She's humming my song.

After a few minutes, she turns back and goes inside, closing the curtains in the window.

My legs are starting to ache. I decide to sit down and wait until I know she's asleep.

I finally convince myself that yes, I'm going to sneak into her house. And yes, I'm going to try to steal some money. Okay, not steal. Borrow. I promise myself that I will find a way to repay Claudia.

Her light goes out, and I know she must be sleeping. I wait behind the bushes for what feels like hours. To pass the time, I begin reading the book that Claudia let me keep. It was unbearably cheesy, but it kept me awake. I check my watch, and it is 2 am.

Claudia has a little shed by the side of her house. It happens to be close by her bedroom balcony.

I climb onto the roof of the shed and I stare at the balcony.

I have to jump, and I have to make the jump. If not, Claudia and her family are going to find a boy with a broken body crumpled by their shed in the morning.

I think of my mother. Last time I saw her was a day before I ran away. She looked so weak in the hospital bed. She told me I was a good boy, and that she was proud of me. She said that everything will get better, although it seemed like everything was getting worse.

When my mom got cancer, my world began crumbling down, piece by piece. We couldn't pay the hospital bills, my dad was drinking, and Aaliyah was barley 8 years old. Since I'm only 14, I can't get a proper job.

This is the only way, so I jump.