Perfectly Ordinary // Shawn Mendes

ripped apart

shawn

I thought I would get the balls to kiss Claudia that night. That night she hugged me and told me she loved me. I thought it was going to be perfect. I imagined that I'd lean in and kiss her soft lips.

I don't care if I'm only 14. I've fallen in love with Claudia Brooks. Now she has to leave me.

I promised to help her pack in the morning. My shirt is wet with Claudia's tears, but I don't mind. Seeing her in pain feels awful, like it is my fault for not protecting her from the terrible things that can happen in life.

"Should I pack this?" Her frail voice whimpers, holding up a picture frame with her and her dad.

"Keep it. Pack whatever you want, but make sure you don't overflow the suitcases," I reply, and she nods slowly.

I watch her as her weak body glides across the bedroom and grabs small belongings and leaves behind ones she doesn't think are necessary to bring with her.

I'm a mess. I'm not showing it, but it feels like my heart is ripped out of my chest and somebody is pounding on it with a hammer. There's only a few people in this world that I love, and Claudia is one of them. And she's going to be so far. I can no longer walk to sing for her.

Claudia has to stop packing for a moment. She tells me to stop too.

"Shawn, what're we going to do?"

I don't know what to do. So I pretend I know, and act like a man for her.

"We are going to stay friends, okay? We will find a way. I'll save up, I'll buy a phone. We can call each other and text. Maybe you can come and visit? And when I turn 18, I'll come and get you. And we can be together again, okay?" I say, my voice cracking at the end. Claudia starts to cry.

I run to her and hug her tightly.

"I don't want to lose you, Shawn."

"I don't want to lose you, either," I say, tears beginning to pour down my cheeks. I squeeze my eyes shut tight.

We stay like that for what feels like hours, in each other's arms, comforting one another. Right now we need each other more than anything, and we are being ripped apart.