Perfectly Ordinary // Shawn Mendes

a secret revealed

claudia

Aunt Diane decides that one particularly hot summer morning, we're going to take a day trip to LA. We would go and walk around until we got so sweaty and tired that we felt like passing out.

Kaylie is home from college; her 20th birthday just passed, as did my 17th. Kaylie and I don't get along too much. She's more of a pretty, popular type, while I'm more of an outcast.

While living in California, I made only three friends. Jamie, Abi, and Michaela. They are nice and invite me over occasionally to talk about boys or gossip about whatever the drama is. Quite honestly, I think they invited me originally because they felt bad. I'm more of a keep-to-myself kinda girl. Everything changed when I opened up to them. I told them about Shawn.

One night, the girls were talking about celebrities and hot teenage guys, and of course Shawn came up. His fame was rising so quickly. Aunt Diane got me an iPhone for my fifteenth birthday because every other girl my age had one, but I tried my hardest to completely ignore any pictures of Shawn that would come up on my Instagram explore page.

"Oh my gosh, Shawn Mendes is honestly the cutest guy in the world. He's so sweet," Jamie said, practically drooling over one of his Instagram posts. The girls agreed and looked over at me for an answer, but my eyes were locked on his picture.

"Justin Bieber is from Canada. Canadian guys are dreamy. There must be something in the water," Michaela says, batting her long eyelashes.

"Oh wait, didn't you live in Canada, Claudia? Did you ever meet Shawn?" Abi asked, her eyes wide with curiosity. We sat on the pink rug in Abi's bedroom, letting our nail-polish dry. Abi had chosen pink for her fingernails and aqua blue for her toenails, Jamie had chosen purple for her fingernails and pink for her toenails, Michaela had chosen yellow for her fingernails and green for her toenails, and I had chosen black for both my nails and my toenails. When they asked me why, I told them because it matched everything. They shrugged and nodded with agreement.

I ignored Abi's question, staring into his deep brown eyes.

"Come on, Abi. That's ridiculous. Canada is like, huge," Michaela said, rolling her hazel eyes and giggling.

I looked up, focusing my gaze on Michaela.

"I did know him. He used to sing to me," I mumbled, tucking a wisp of blonde hair behind my ear.

All three girls laughed. I grimaced.

"I'm not lying, guys," I began, as tears suddenly sprung to my eyes. "He was my best friend."

They stopped laughing and looked at me, their faces identical with the same confusion.

I walked over to my backpack and grasped the book he gave me. I brought it over to them and handed it to Michaela, who was sitting in between Abi and Jamie. All three girls stared at the cover with wonder.

"Open it," I said, my voice soft. They did, and on the first page, Shawn had taped in a picture of him and I. All three girls' jaws dropped open.

"This is...it can't be," Jamie said breathlessly, her brown eyes bulging out of her tiny face.

"It is," I reply, and an unexpected smile appears on my lips.

"OH MY GOD, CLAUDIA! HE MADE THIS FOR...YOU!" Abi said, flipping through the pages and scanning over his messages to me.

"You have to tell us EVERYTHING, Claudia. Were you guys like, dating?" Michaela asked, her ginger curls bouncing as she jumped up and down.

"No, it wasn't like that. I don't..." I paused, looking down at the picture of Shawn and I. Maybe Shawn didn't have to be my secret anymore. I smiled, bigger this time. God, it felt good to smile. "I'll tell you everything."

That night was wonderful. Abi invited us to sleep over because she was so excited to hear more of my Shawn stories.

I told them everything. From the day we met, from our last day together. By the end, all four of us had tears in our eyes. I told them about my mom and my dad, and they hugged me and comforted me.

After a few silent minutes, I took out my phone.

"Shawn wrote a song for me once," I said quietly, and they all looked up at my tear stained cheeks.

"He...what?!" Jamie asked, tying her brunette hair into a messy bun.

I pulled up his "Never Be Alone" video, tears pouring down my cheeks with every lyric. The girls watched in awe.

"Claudia, that song is super popular. It's on his album. I've loved this song since it came out. I had no idea he wrote it for...you. That's incredible," Abi said, hugging me tight.

"Did you answer him? Did you tell him you were okay?" Michaela asked.

I looked at Shawn's tear stained cheeks. He was so desperate for my response, and I never gave him one.

"No. I never answered him. It hurt too bad," I said, my voice cracking. I began crying, my shoulders shaking. The girls surrounded me and hugged me tight, telling me that it was going to be okay.

After that night, Jamie, Michaela, and Abi became my real friends.

♡.·:*¨¨*:·.♡.·:*:·.♡.·:*¨¨*:·.♡

We drive past rows of palm trees, a cool breeze blowing in from the open windows of Aunt Diane's car. She wants the three of us to have a "just girls bonding day."

I'm exhausted. I don't even know why. I just am.

Today, I dressed myself in the best clothes I could find. Whenever Kaylie is home, I feel obligated to put on my cutest outfits. It always feels like her grey eyes are judging me.

I loosely curled my shoulder-length blonde hair and actually put on some makeup. I don't like wearing makeup too often, so I mostly just wear concealer and mascara. Today, I added eyeshadow and eyeliner.

I chose a faded maroon top that was cropped at the bottom and paired it with some of Kaylie's old high-waisted light wash shorts. They have a few lace cutouts here and there, and they are my favorite shorts by far. My long fingernails are painted black and I wear my everyday beat-up black converse.

"Mom, can we go into that store over there?" Kaylie asks, pointing to a clothing store coming up on the right. I spot a coffee shop across the street and plan on asking Aunt Diane if I could go there instead.

Aunt Diane parks the car in a space in front of the store.

"Hey, can I meet up with you guys in there? I wanted to grab a coffee from across the street," I ask, stepping out of the car.

"Sure, hon. We'll be in here for quite a while. It's one of Kaylie's favorites."

I watch as they walk into the store together. I grab my old purse and cross the street to the Starbucks.

Maybe it was fate that I was tired that day. Maybe I wouldn't have walked into that coffee shop and got on line.

And maybe I wouldn't have seen something, or someone, that would turn my life around.