Never Letting Go

Sober thoughts

Jax wrapped the towel around himself still dumbfounded at what his mother said a few days ago, it had been four days since he had seen or heard from Dallas and he was starting to get worried. They had never gone this long without speaking since she slept with Opie when she was seventeen, he didn't want them to not speak but she didn't understand that he wasn't any good for her all's he was going to so was bring her down further then she already was. But since then all's he could do was think about Dallas his mother was completely right he loved her with everything he had in his body but he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Since she was refusing to answer her phone for him he decided that he would stop over to her apartment to check on her. She had talked with Opie via text earlier in the day assuring him that she was ok and just needed time away, but the thing is Dallas was never one to stay away, she was always coming in full force no matter the situation. So Jax knew something was bothering her because it wasn't like her to stay away this long

Jax knocked on the door for the third time and Dallas still wasnt answering, he dug a set of keys out of his pocket and stuck the key in the keyhole and opened the door to get blasted in the face with the smell of booze, cigarettes and weed. He closed the door and peaked into the kitchen to see empty pizza boxes and Chinese containers thrown everywhere, he walked down the little hall to the living room to see Dallas sitting on the living room floor leaning up against the couch

"I knocked three times Dal" Jax said

"I was hoping you'd get the hint and leave" she said taking a sip of the tequila that she was currently nursing

"Well I didn't I haven't heard from you in days I was getting worried" Jax said sitting next to her

"There's nothing to worry about here Jax. I'm fine" Dallas said standing up not wanting to be close to Jax at all

"What the hell is your problem Dallas?" Jax asked standing up

"You" she said pointing to Jax

"Excuse me?" Jax asked

"Your my problem Jax. I'm tired of not being able to live my life because you are to scared to admit shit" Dallas said putting out her cigarette

"I'm not scared to admit anything Dallas. Not at all" Jax said

"Do you love me?" Dallas asked

"Yes, but I can't be with you. As much as I want to Dallas I can't." Jax said

"Why?" Dallas asked getting closer to Jax

"Because you deserve better, someone who isn't going to put you in constant danger" Jax said

"You won't even let me get close to anyone because you have to ruin it for me" Dallas explained

"I do it to protect you. You don't understand, I do these things to keep you safe!" Jax yelled

"No you do it so you can make my life fucking miserable, you hate seeing me happy with someone other then you because your a selfish prick bastard" Dallas yelled

"Your really going to say that to me?, The one that always comes to your rescue when you need help or someone to talk to, I came here to make sure you were ok and to talk to you but instead you sit here and criticise how I fucking feel towards you. When you cant even tell me how you feel? No it doesn't work like that Dallas. This isn't let's belittle Jax because I want to feel better about myself, you want to be a drunk, then be a drunk don't call me to rescue you this time, I didn't realize until now that sleeping with you was a fucking mistake" Jax said walking down the hall and slamming the door behind him

Jax had never spoken to Dallas like that, he's never raised his voice at her or said things like that towards her. She felt ashamed, yet relieved at the same time. She pushed him, she pushed him to the spot she wanted him to be in. Regret.

Dallas looked at herself in the mirror a friend of hers from high school set her up on a date with a co worker of hers. She was angry with herself everything she owned showed off her stupid mistake that still held its place on her shoulder, she fiddled through her make-up bag and found some cover up and attempted to cover it up

Jax sat at the bar with Ima at his side he'd slept with Ima so many times he doesn't remember. He just wanted to forget Dallas, not one person had heard from Dallas and he didn't have a care in the world he wanted to forget he ever met her

Dallas was furious, this guy really brought her to the hairy dog. Here she thought she was going out to dinner and this smuck brought her to a damn bar

"Hey Wade, I'm getting kind of hungry, think we could go get some dinner?" Dallas asked

"Yeah in a bit babe, I want to have a few more drinks" Wade said

"Ok two more that's it, like i said I'm hungry" Dallas said Wade turned around and grabbed her arm

"You don't speak to me like that do you understand me" Wade said quietly while squeezing Dallas's arm

"Get your hands off me I'm walking home" Dallas said pulling her arm out if his grip and walked away from Wade

Jax was getting dressed while Ima was in the bathroom, he felt relieved, forgetting about Dallas for a little while was all he needed, he needed to stop thinking about what she's doing, if she's ok, if she's with another guy, when that guy should just be him. He was buckling his belt when his dorm room door opened

"Ma what the fuck" jax said

"We gotta go, something happened to Dallas, she's at st Thomas" Gemma said

All of the blood drained out of Jax's face as he stood there frozen not able to move

Wanted to leave this hear for you readers ;)