Incoming: A Second Chance

March: Aftermath

I was sitting in my room, replaying everything that happened today when Kathy walked through our door.  Her smile quickly vanished when she saw the look on my face.  A part of me wanted to be mad at her, since she was the one that had to go and make that obvious accusation to Sarah in front of Ethan, which is what started this whole mess.  On the other hand, she was just having my back, like a best friend should.

Confused with mix emotions, I turned away from her as she very slowly walked over to me.  I felt the bed dip down beside me as she sat, and finally turned to face her. 

“Was Ethan upset?” Kathy practically whispered.

A sigh quickly escaped my lips, as I rolled my eyes and shook my head.  “What do you think?” I whispered back not being able to look into her eyes.

After a few moments of silence, I looked back at her and found her watching me, so I decided to break the silence.

“He got upset with me, saying he has never given me a reason not to trust him.  And then he goes and throws Derek in my face, saying he never questions it because he trust me…”

I could barely keep my voice steady by the end, and I could tell Kathy noticed. Shaking her head, she defended herself, “I didn’t mean to piss him off, but did he even notice Sarah was flirting with him?”

“I don’t think he did, and she was definitely flirting.  Must be girl instinct, because he was as blind as those three damn mice.”

Kathy laughed and placed her head on my shoulder, then muttered, “Men.”

Laying my head on hers, I mumbled, “Do you wanna know whats the kicker though?”

She just shook her head for me to continue.

Lifting my head, I turned to face her, “With everything Ethan said, he might have been right about the whole Derek thing.”

Her eyes creased, “What do you mean?”

“Derek called, and made it clear he’s starting to think of me as more than a friend. Does that make me a hypocrite? I mean, I allowed this to happen.”

Shaking her head, “No, this doesn’t make you a hypocrite, how could you know Derek would start feeling anything for you? It’s not like you encouraged it!”

“Maybe I did.  Maybe I like talking to him more than just a friend too.  Maybe I…Maybe I don’t know.”

“Do you have feelings for Derek, Emma?”

“I love Ethan.” I said point blank.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you or don’t you have feelings for Derek?” She asked truly concerned.

“I like talking to him.  I can’t imagine not talking to him or hearing his voice. What does that mean?”

The room fell silent.  What was I thinking?  I practically was ready to accuse Ethan earlier when I first saw him seated with Sarah, and that thought has never crossed my mind before, even when he was with another female.  I have always trusted him 110%.  Is it Sarah that made me feel uncomfortable? Or is it my relationship with Derek that is making me realize that things aren’t always black and white.

I looked over at Kathy, who also seemed to be thinking about this, and asked again, “What does that mean?”

Looking up at me, she gave me an awkward forced smile, “I think it means you do have feelings for him.”

My heart sunk, and my head dropped into my hands.  I am a hypocrite!  I have to fix this.

“I have to call Ethan and fix this,” I quickly said.