disarray

day one

"Hello " my echo's in the house.

Glad no one is here. All alone they take me to be all alone. have to start over. I have no phone. I told them my ipod broke if not they would have taken it away.

Shit i wished i would have jumped out of the car. If anything i would be in a hospital anything is better than here. I wished there was more for me to write other than my saddness and tears.

I am going to be strong all in all. No one from the outside will know.

As nightfall comes in I feel deep surge if laughter. "This is it" oh but I was wrong. The mix of laughter and tears filt my pillow not sure if it was joy or sorrow I'm sure it was a mix. Just around the moment when I started to dose I heard it, the clicking of heels against the wood floors. She is home I wonder who is with her? She never comes in alone.

Only a couple minuets pass until I hear the bangs of the bed against the wall. Then shrills like a pig being slaughtered. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear I grab my IPod and go into the closet. Which I had transformed into a comfortable hiding spot with sleeping bags and a vanilla scented candle if I need light. Sometimes the smell of burning flesh looms threw the hall. The Vanilla doesn't always help. As the noises grow louder I curl up into a ball place my iPod in random and as loud as it will go and then try and sleep.