disarray

Barely Alive

11 o'clock and the beds a rocking and the mom is moaning.

I decide to raid her purse and look for smokes info on my father if any and anything else I might want.

Finding her sparkly silver phone first I scroll the contacts. I find it and hit send. Cross my fingers pick up, pick up! Straight to voicemail Crap " Daddy hi I love and miss you please come get me please I don't want to be here anymore. I snuck on mommys phone. Please!" I start crying as I hang up the phone.

I grab 2 cig some pills and run to the bathroom and lock the door. Open the window light the cig as I hang out the window tears pour down my face and arms.

There is a bang at the door "Silvia I need the bathroom you going to be long?" the exhausted female voice tunneled through my eardrums. I could hear her I couldn't move knumb from the pills I supposed. I tried to get up but my eyes wouldn't open. I was stuck was I even breathing i became confused, scared,and comfortable at the same time. I heard all kinds of commotion yells and banging. I was falling in and out of sleep the whole time I felt fine I just couldn't wake up. Next was sirens, strange people telling me it's ok hang in there. I fell asleep again. I woke up vomiting and in pain straped to a hospital bed.

Social workers, police, doctors, nurses, and mother surrounding me. Wishing I wasback sleeping. I heard my mother saying how she thinks I should be placed in psychiatric care. What the hell !! It's her fault I'm this way!! My heart starts pounding fast I scream get her away she did this I want my daddy help me please!! Help!! Nurses come In and push a button that makes me drowsy. I still try and speak my mommy winks at me I fall back to sleep.